Levi's Absolution
by Deidara97
Summary: A mysterious character from Levi's past has wandered into the Scouting Legion. What does Levi regret? Where will their futures lead? Levi X female OC. Set before the anime, about where A Choice with no Regrets left off. Some language and mildly violent imagery.
1. Chapter 1

Soft, enthralled eyes shifted as two heavy pounds on the door tore the girl's attention from her book. She erected herself in her bed and began to pull herself out of the cocoon of blankets when her door opened to reveal the man she had come to know as Levi Heichou. The sight of him made her tense, but she was certainly not afraid of him. It was formality that she had to uphold now, formality she hadn't had to employ since _those_ days.

He lifted his hand in a motion that told her not to bother getting up. She hesitantly relaxed and folded the corner of her page in order to mark it. She propped herself into a sitting position and tilted her head inquisitorially.

"Is there something I can help you with, Heichou?" He must have left his arrogant air behind, because he refused to make eye contact with the young woman. After a few moments of staring into a dark corner of her room, he began making slow, confident strides towards the edge of the bed. Once seated there, the man let out a tired sigh and leaned himself back into a resting position across the foot of her bed; his arm outstretched behind his head acted as a pillow for his weary head.

"Not really." He finally replied.

"Oh, okay." She smiled and let out a slight giggle at the older man's feigned nonchalance.

"What the hell are you laughing about?" He shot her an annoyed glare.

"It's nothing, Heichou." She reassured him with another smile. He let out a smirk and his vision went distant as it shifted back to the cold ceiling of the Survey Corps Headquarters.

"…You fool a lot of people with that smile." As he spoke, his eyes deadened to a glaze, not uncommon for the middle-aged man.

"…I suppose I do." She looked down, almost shocked by the conversation's sudden turn. The lance corporal thought a long moment before continuing.

"Do you hate me?" His eyes were fixed and unmoving on the cracks in the ceiling.

"…Should I hate you?" She searched his expression but was unable to interpret his emotions.

"I would hate me."

"It's rather difficult, holding on to all that hatred… I used to hate you… It almost consumed me, actually. But that isn't what he would have wanted… That isn't what he taught me." She now carried a pained expression that always came when she remembered that man.

"But you aren't him… You're free to hate whomever you please."

"Yes... But he lives on, inside of me… And besides, if I were to harbor hate for everyone who has wronged me, I would be a very different person." She forced a smile which earned Levi's attention and a bemused smirk.

"You smile like an idiot."

"I know!" She quipped as she pulled her knees to her chest and embraced them in her toned arms which were exposed in a dark cut-off, the paper-back book still hanging between her thumb and index finger. The candlelight seemed to dance in the lightening air of the room. "… I kinda like you, Heichou."

"Hmph…" There were many reasons he admired the girl, the main reason being her ability to express so much emotion despite the hardships she had faced. The same kind of pain that deadened him only seemed to encourage her. In a way, he felt her enthusiasm seemed to compensate for his own lack of sensitivity. He slowly rose from the bed and made his way towards the door. "Goodnight, Rachel."

"Goodnight, Heichou!" The shorter man held a smile, hardly visible, as he closed the door behind him.

His questions had stirred the girl. This certainly was not where she had expected to end up. She was on borrowed time since she made her decision, she was sure of that. But somehow, she stumbled into this place.

A young girl, frightened to death by the thought of losing one more person, was unable to prevent the tears from forming in her hazel eyes. As she drifted off to sleep, she hoped she would awake alone and disconnected from the ones she was growing to love, back where she belonged—in the arms of the unyielding beauty of the world beyond the walls. Alone and unafraid.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN **I decided to twist the setting of the Corps to make it more hostile towards women. Rachel is the first female to ever be permitted into the Survey Corps (Sorry, Hanji will come in later!)and is only there by Commander Erwin's order. Her integration is the focus of this chapter. (I promise, things will pick up and apologies this took so long!)

* * *

"How the hell are you going to escape those damn titans at that pace? Move it!" The 37 year old captain did his best to intimidate the newbie as she ran around the narrow, dusty road. Even he had mixed emotions; although, they were for a completely different reason. She was a formidable soldier, and one he certainly hoped he could trust. But for her to be able to survive without any assistance in the wilderness where the Corps had lost countless people, she was cursed rather than praised.

Her head stayed in the clouds even though her feet remained grounded. She was more interested in the migration patterns of the birds than conversations with her new comrades. Not only was she skilled and held immense knowledge about the world outside the walls, but she worked harder than anyone else. An anomaly indeed, but she had greater potential than any—the potential to change the very foundation of the Corps, and the success of humanity in its struggle for control over the titans.

They didn't know that, though. Not then.

She passed the other soldiers as they fell or stopped to vomit or catch their breath and kept running even after she had met the 10 kilometer requirement. Erwin became increasingly happy with his decision to integrate her with the cadets despite the discomfort of her comrades.

The days were hard. Every time she turned around, Rachel received a crooked glance or a back-handed compliment, or a flat-out insult.

"When it comes time for the expeditions, be sure your girly emotions don't slow us down." One of the cadets would mumble when he passed her.

"We don't have time for this bitch's mood swings, Commander!" One of the squad captains complained during the interrogation she endured before she was allowed to begin her preliminary training, which was hardly a challenge for the young soldier. "We should have just killed her back there in the forest!"

Commander Erwin would defend her, but only in private. He would pull the cadets aside and remind them that his decision supersedes and they needed to keep their mouths shut and stop being so ignorant. But he wouldn't say those things in front of her. It wasn't his responsibility to make her feel comfortable, but to make her an asset. She would have to fight her own battles and earn everyone's respect.

In addition to being an outcast for her gender and skill set, she also carried the position of a new cadet. This meant she was burdened with most of the cleaning and grunt work, which most of the other cadets were happy to see. Occasionally, out of pity, Captain Levi would assist her.

"Thank you, again, Heichou." Dark brown, shoulder-length hair fell in front of her face as hung her head meekly. She was on her hands and knees scrubbing the grout of the foyer while her captain was mopping a few feet away, trying hard not to get the cleaning solution too close to his neatly pressed khakis.

"Don't mention it." He'd mumble under his breath. Unlike his typical fashion, he would never hold it over her head by saying she owed him one. He didn't feel he had the right, not after what he had done all those years ago.

Despite their history, Levi was one of the few people Rachel could talk to. Maybe it was because of their history they were so familiar. After all, they were the only two people in the Survey Corps who were raised in the underground.

The Commander was on her side as well, but that goes without saying. He took a lot of heat from the Imperial Government for letting some random woman living alone outside the wall into his custody. On rare occasions, when Rachel was stargazing or bird watching, the Commander would confront her.

"How does it compare?"

"I'm sorry, Commander?"

"To out there, I mean." His head nodded towards the vast expanse of uninhabited land in front of them from their position on the guard towers of Headquarters.

"Oh, I see… Well, they're very different, sir." She bowed her head politely. Her respect for him made it easy to lower her head. "I'm not quite adjusted yet."

"Well, it doesn't appear that way. You should be proud of your work… Even some of the men are beginning to look up to you."

"Is that so?" She raised an eyebrow, but her gaze stayed on the long blades of vibrant, untrimmed grass, swaying as one wave in the early summer wind, making her heart yearn to be back in nature's arms.

"Levi informed me of where you're from." He received a sideways glance of piqued interest. "One would have to surmise it is your pasts that make you both remarkable soldiers…" Rachel 's response was a blank, submissive stare. "He told me about your relationship with the Revival as well…"

"Oh?" She seemed genuinely surprised now. "So you no longer trust me?"

"You're assuming I had trust in you from the beginning?" He looked down at her inquisitorially.

"You're very right, my apologies… Well, I can assure you, Commander; I am not a spy. I left that life behind when I came out here." Her focus returned to the place she knew as home.

"I am aware, Rachel... You have earned Levi's trust, which is more than I can say for most people here."

"Thank you, Commander."


	3. Chapter 3

Summer had now come full swing and the gentle breeze and July sun tried the best they could to boost the group's morale. The unit set to go beyond the walls for the expedition numbered 36 members, all from varying ranks. It had been only three months since the new batch of recruits had been inducted and only a month and a half since Rachel had joined their ranks.

A general fear blanketed the soldiers— the inexperienced shaking with nerves and the superiors wondering which faces they will still see upon their return. As they waited for the gate to rise, Levi remembered a conversation he had with Rachel on the rooftop after the mission's briefing. Erwin had warned the company to except a high mortality rate.

"How do you keep your heads so high when every expedition is so crippling?" She was familiar with loss herself, and her innocent eyes tried to burn their way through the captain's façade. His rough, tired hands were folded over the edge of the balcony while his elbows rested on the railing. Rachel stood a few feet back, the wind tugging at her hair.

"… Knowledge is power… And Erwin is ready to sacrifice everything here to change this crooked world, sacrificing his humanity for the sake of others..." It occurred to him how peculiar it was for her to be concerned about such things. "That's a rookie question; I thought you were a soldier." He turned his head over his shoulder to look back at her.

"I was a soldier… I _am _one… But down there, in the Revival," her eyes shifted uncomfortably as she said that particular word, "everyone who wanted to survive and succeed was capable of everything. Each person possessed the skillset of an entire squad. It was more work, but it increased survival and success rates of the missions. But most importantly, it boosted everyone's morale."

"But not everyone is competent enough to accomplish that... You were-are - different."

"Sometimes I wonder... I believe a person's capacity is based on their environment. People can only reach their full potential when the expectations are high and they are pushed to their breaking points."

"Are you saying we're doing things wrong here?" his tone was more apprehensive than defensive, but things were certainly headed in that direction.

"I think the systems that govern the walls are extended to the Corps. But the Corps works outside the walls, and therefore needs a different, more unified structure."

"What are you suggesting?"

"Well, first and foremost, it would be better if everyone was equipped to deal with injuries. At the current rate, injury most certainly means fatality… It is also dire that we focus on prevention of titan interaction, which means better routes and navigation, which I could help with... I also think there should be more comradery between cadets, although, many of the hard feelings will change after this mission." her eyes grew soft and distant. "I just wish it didn't take death to bring the survivors closer together..."Levi's lids fell over his tired eyes as he recalled painful memories. After a long moment, he shifted his weight to his left leg and tilted his head down.

"At any rate, we should focus on surviving _this_ expedition. Erwin thinks you could really bring about big change around here, but that all amounts to shit if your dead." with that, the older man straightened his back and turned to leave. Before he made it to the hatch that lead down to the attic, he paused and spoke, "Oh, and Rachel, one more thing."

"Yes, Heichou?" she turned to face the back of his head.

"I know better than anyone, an apology won't change anything…" His somber gaze was out of the girl's view as he had his back turned. "… but I _am _sorry" Her face seemed shocked and she lowered her head.

"Don't apologize, Heichou. Everything was different then." Her voice wavered as her head shook back and forth. "Everything." she repeated in a hoarse whisper.

"...Get some rest, Rachel." He added before leaving her alone with the soft summer air and the roaring buzz of the insects.

**AN**: Thanks for reading! I would love to hear any feedback or suggestions!


	4. Chapter 4

Levi was snapped out of his thoughts by the screeching wails of chains lifting the gate of Wall Maria. As soon as Erwin gave the signal, Levi motioned for his squad to advance. He couldn't seem to shake the words Rachel had spoken the day before. Maybe they could, in fact, be better equipped to handle the titans. But now wasn't the time for doubt. He suppressed his racing thoughts and pushed forward.

Their mission was to study the geography surrounding the city in order to consider human expansion. Resources were running thin inside the walls and while the thought of warring over land with titans was grim, it was better than the idea of a civil war. The nature of the mission was non-confrontational and reserved, but the high possibility of conflict made the new recruits tremble with fear. All but one, that is.

A large, onyx bird flew low over the company, bellowing a guttural call before veering off into the distance.

"Oh!" Rachel's horse slowed down as she loosened the reigns to gape at her feathered friend. Her jaw fell as her neck strained painfully to follow the bird's position in the azure sky.

"Do you want to everyone to die?" her captain shouted over the roar of the horse's hooves. She was supposed to be leading the left flank, but her comrades were catching up to her. She hadn't missed it, being responsible for people's lives again. It gave her what some would call a sense of meaning, but more than meaning, the responsibility was a burden. She could wield her weapons better than any man, she could perform the most intricate surgeries in the midst of battle, she could heal even the most broken spirit, but none of it mattered to her anymore. At least that's what she wanted to believe.

"No, Sir!" She shouted digging her heals into the sides of her carrier, apologizing to him furiously in her head.

"Tch." Levi snarled at her lack of regard to the importance of the mission. More than that, though, he was trying to come to terms with his inferiority.

She was a pivotal member of the Revival, a group even Levi was powerless against. And here she was, taking orders from him. He wondered how long that would last. There was no doubt in his mind, though, of his faith in her. The very nature of The Revival, he understood now, was trust. They shrouded themselves off, the entire Underground believing they were a revolutionary cult of oppressors, when in reality, they were just consumed by love and made great sacrifices to protect the innocent. They ruled the Underground from the shadows and carried the sins of their resolve. The thought was reminiscent of Erwin and the humanity he sacrifices for the humanity of others.

But, as Rachel had said, everything was different then…

The troops were exhausted by the time the sun began to set and decided to take a brief rest. They had made good distance and had only encountered two titans, both of which were resolved by Levi's special ops squad without any problem. The new men were optimistic about their first day out of the walls. But the experienced soldiers knew just how easy it was for things to turn awry.

"Where the hell did the bitch go?" One of the new recruits caused a scene. Rachel had gone missing from the camp and the young blonde from the interior now had grounds to accuse her on.

A few of the men were concerned rather than skeptical. How would the poor woman fare alone in the wilderness? It goes without saying that being the only woman capable to go outside of the walls on expeditions caught the eyes of more than a few men. Her figure was less than feminine, but certainly not unattractive. Her "girlish figure" had never developed and, because of her combative skills, she had a toned build. Even considering those things, she had a small and petite air. Her delicate, childlike presence only attracted more men. But thinking of her as a helpless woman, they would soon realize, was a foolish mistake. They began to call out with their chests puffed like territorial lions, trying to rescue their distressed damsel. "Rachel!"

The higher ups had noticed her missing long before the cadets, but decided not to draw attention. If they had no chance to watch her act independently, how would they discern her true motives?

She must've been nearby because when the men began to call, she almost immediately called out, "Coming!" She took her time walking through the bushes to the congregation. As she approached, it became visible she was holding something in her hands. She had them clasped close to her abdomen and kept looking at their contents worriedly. She was whispering something as she made it to the light of the small fire that had been built in her absence.

"Thank goodness you're alright, Rachel!" A tall, dark haired man fawned over her. He was pushed out of the way by the mistrustful blonde.

"Do you want to share where you've been?" He rested his fingers on the handle of his blade, instigating a fight.

"I heard this little guy making all sorts of noise on the ground over there." She played into her innocent charm and completely avoided acknowledging the man before her. He wasn't worth her energy.

"Are you trying to trick us, or set up an ambush with your freaky forest friends?!" His grasp on the blade was now strong and his knuckles were whitening.

"He needs some water…"

"Dammit! Answer me!" he was leaned over and less than four feet from her face. She finally decided to look up but before she could speak, there was a blur of motion and the sound of a cracking jaw.

The confrontation had arrested the entire company's attention and by the time they realized what was happening, Levi was pressing the cadet's face into the forest floor, his blond hair becoming sullied with damp earth. The shorter man ground his foot back and forth before speaking.

"You're out of line… What gives you the audacity to threaten your comrade?" He was exerting most of his body weight onto his foot now, causing the man to cry out in pain. "You disgust me…" He lifted his foot only to give one more kick to the man's ribs before turning around and catching a glimpse of what Rachel was carrying. His eyes widened in surprise. It pained him how similar those two were.

"Th-thank you, Heichou." Her gaze fell to left shyly.

"Don't. What's wrong with the bird?" His response was quick and expressionless.

"Oh! His nest got destroyed by a squirrel… I'm surprised he made it… I was going to give him some water."

"Very well, then." He nodded slightly before walking off and sighing tiredly.

…

The next few hours were spent debating whether or not they should continue through the night to speed up the expedition. There would be fewer encounters with the titans at night, but it would be difficult to actually carry out the mission of surveying the land, not to mention the fatigue it would cause.

While the others argued, Rachel sat on the back of the supply cart with the little bird nestled in her hands. She was giving him a thorough inspection when Levi interrupted her.

"Will he make it?" He sat down beside her and avoided speaking directly to her.

"Hn, I think so… Those were the last words I was expecting from your mouth, Heichou." She smiled, surprised by his concern.

"Don't get used to it." The sky was now a vibrant indigo and the moon's light was outshining the remnants of the sun.

"What's the verdict? Are we pushing forward?" Her eyes searched for reciprocation but found none.

"We haven't decided yet. That's actually why I came over here… You must have a lot of knowledge of the terrain around here."

"Quite extensive knowledge." She nodded confidently.

"Then you could guide us through?"

"Hm… That would require you to trust me."

"I trust you just fine."

"Hn." She smiled. "But you're atypical…. I could be leading you into a trap, or an ambush as the man said earlier. You have very little knowledge of the life I lived here."

"I know who you _are_, though. Your heart can't bear interactions with people anymore, which is why you spent all of your time here, alone… You weren't just surreptitiously hiding yourself in the woods; you were hiding from others… You're actions aren't as complicated as you think…

"Hm, your keen eye is impressive… You carry more pain than I, and yet you stay. You didn't run away. I admire you, but I am also afraid of you." The air became heavy.

"Afraid?"

"You can still function so well. I don't know how you manage and it scares me… Because I can't imagine what you go through when you're alone."

"Hmph, have you ever taken a look at yourself lately? You're always smiling and acting like a fool. Who's really suppressing their thoughts?" His words made her flinch. "We all have our ways of coping, Rachel. Will you guide us, or not? If you lead us into an ambush, I'll use your limbs as titan fodder." He finally gave her the acknowledgement she was longing for and they prepared to resume the surveying.

Levi was oblivious to the smile on his face as he watched Rachel tenderly say goodbye to the bird and place it in an abandoned nest.

**AN** Thanks for reading! I would love to hear your feedback! This is starting to make a lot more references to A Choice with no Regrets, so if you haven't read it, you totally should- it will change your life. Just make sure you have plenty of tissues on hand while reading it. The backstory I have in mind is pretty elaborate, so bear with me please! I do hope you enjoy it!


	5. Chapter 5

The soldiers spent another 6 hours painstakingly recording the topography of the area, making special notes of any resources that might be of use. Dark clouds had begun to form, yet they still moved carefully and slowly through the night, stopping frequently to draw maps or discuss the next direction they would take. Rachel hated to sit still, though. On breaks, she would wander off into the woods in search of something to catch her interest.

Two of the soldiers approached her as she was on her knees in a small clearing about a kilometer from the rest of the company.

"Rachel, right?" One of the men stepped forward and knelt down beside her. He was a member of Levi's squad named Jacob.

"Yes, that's right…" She slightly lowered her head. She recounted how he fought against the titans earlier in the day. "You're quite skilled, if you don't mind my saying so." He gave her a charismatic smile.

"I just do what I have to." After a sort pause, he continued. "Do you mind if I ask what you're doing out here?" He sat up straight, neck craning down and trying to make sense of a pile of weeds the girl was clutching.

"Oh, these are licorice roots. They're much more common in these areas, and they're good for treating fatigue. I think they'll come in handy if we stay out here much longer… Would you like to try?" She took a small shoot of the plant and offered it to Jacob. His teammate looked at him hesitantly. "They taste decent compared to the other herbs around here."

"Sure." Jacob tilted his head as he gave her a warm grin.

"Hey, are you sure you wanna do that?" The other soldier, also a member of Levi's squad, stepped forward, giving Jacob an uneasy glance.

"Why not? I _am_ a bit fatigued, now that I think about it." He took the shoot and placed it on his tongue. He took a second to experience the flavor before nodding his head in approval. "Here, Aururo, you should try some too."

"Er, uh, no thanks… I try not to eat plants from the wild…" He quivered in discomfort at the situation. Ever since Rachel had shown up, he was getting less of Levi's attention. It was nothing personal, but it was difficult for such a prodigy to be overlooked.

"I'll make these into a nice tea in the morning." She gave them both a smile before turning to the rest of the congregation.

"She could be trying to poison all of us, you know." Aururo looked nervously at his friend, half expecting him to fall over ill within seconds.

"I think she's nice." Jacob smiled fondly at her as she walked off.

"Ugh, your love stricken eyes are making _me_ ill." He performed a dramatized gagging which earned a sarcastic sneer from Jacob.

…

It was around 1am the Commander and the captains decided it was time to turn in for the evening. They needed some rest if they wanted to remain capable for tomorrow. They decided to sleep in two shifts to make sure there were no "unwanted guests" in their camp. As soon as they finished setting up their camp, the rain began to fall heavily.

It was around the time of the change in shifts, where the first group that had slept got up to take watch and the other group finally got to rest after the exhausting day. Others noticed it, but it was Rachel who couldn't leave it alone. He had been acting strangely since the clouds had formed and it pained her to see the familiar face so somber.

"Heichou…" She spoke sheepishly and hesitantly walked over to him. He was looking out over a small river, his back to the camp and completely drenched in the summer rain. "You should rest. You'll ruin your health." He said nothing and she took that as an invitation to take a seat beside him.

"It was just like this, that day…" His eyes were cold and distant, somewhere between remembering something painful and watching a horrid accident. She knew that look all too well.

"No amount of my apologizing will bring them back. But if I could take the pain away from you, I would…" The air was so dense between them, neither one could breathe.

"What makes me any different? Everyone is hurting for some reason." He had to make an effort at every word to overcome the ache in his heart.

"Because we're alike, you and I… We both looked to defend ourselves and become something in this world… And the search for that power only brought us pain in the end."

"No." He interrupted. "We had to gain something before we could lose everything… Was it worth it? Sometimes I wonder. But either way, I can't change what happened—no one can. All the choices I made, all the people I've lost, none of it is ever coming back… I don't blame you for running away. Some days it's unbearable. But you have to look forward. _We_ have to look forward." His demeanor shifted. "Otherwise we end up living in the woods like some coward."

She gaped in disbelief and immediately wiped the tears from her face.

"Why bother? It's raining." The air lightened and Rachel convinced Levi to change his clothes and get some sleep.

…

"Did you see that, Gunther?" Jacob whispered to his neighbor after everyone had gone to sleep.

"See what?"

"The way Rachel did that?"

"What're you getting at, Jacob? It's late."

"You saw how… well… unapproachable Heichou was earlier. And then Rachel spoke to him and now he seems back to his normal self."

"...We'll never understand that guy. Go to sleep."


	6. Chapter 6

"No, p-please stop." The little boy fought to maintain what little dignity he still possessed. "I told you already… It won't happen again."

"Damn right it won't." The dreaded, raspy voice made his little stomach churn, but his trembling was interrupted by a half-empty bottle of Rum being shattered against his delicate skin.

"How many times are you gonna run off like that?" Blood began to pool around the shards of glass stuck in his arms and face. Small, cold eyes relaxed to see a large, bloody hand reaching for his throat. "We can play this game all day, kid…"

"Levi." The taste of blood lingered in his mouth as he woke from a most horrible sleep. He was greeted first by the mountain of reports to attend to and then by Commander Erwin. "Levi, you were sleeping."

"Was I? I hadn't noticed." His voice was defensive and groggy. Erwin would never show it, but he was rather fond of the small man's sarcasm.

"How are the reports coming?" His complexion was unchanged.

"How does it look like they're coming?" He leaned into the back of the chair, trying to stretch out his many discomforts.

"Hm... At any rate, you should get some actual sleep. We can't have you being this _colorful_ when we present the results of our expedition to the king in the morning."

"I don't even see why I have to go to the shitty palace."

"My point exactly…" Levi rolled his eyes and landed his gaze in a far off place. Commander knew him well enough to know something was wrong. "Please just get some rest." He turned to leave but was stopped.

"Oh, and Erwin. What about the integration proposal?"

"It will be included as part of tomorrow's presentation to the imperial court. Hanji will be responsible for presenting the case."

"Glasses freak from Research and Development?" Levi rolled his eyes in mock disgust.

"She's a valuable asset. If the integration passes, I'd like to promote her to Captain immediately."

"And the other one?"

"Rachel, you mean?" Levi closed his eyes slowly in approval. "I've been given reasonable cause to trust her… After what happened with Jacob, that is." Levi furrowed his brow and lowered his gaze at the thought.

"Will she hold up okay?" Erwin's tone shifted to that of concern.

"How the hell would I know?" Commander gave him an all-knowing glare.

"You two seem… close."

"Hmph. Are you jealous?"

"Get some sleep, Levi." He left for good this time, firmly closing the door behind him. As soon as the confident footsteps were out of earshot, Levi let out a deep sigh, pushed himself from his desk, and walked to a small table across the room. He reached into the cabinet below the table and poured himself a glass of heavy Scotch. He trudged over to a small sofa on the opposite wall of his office and eased his way into its arms. He slumped forward resting his elbows on his knees and ran a cold, trembling hand over his forehead, massaging his weary temples. He let out another painful sigh and downed the last of his drink before he let his exhaustion pull him into another uncomfortable slumber.


	7. Chapter 7

"Here, let me help you." Dark hair that had been pulled into a neat bun on the top of her head fell into her line of vision as she relieved a taller woman of a heavy box.

"Thank you, miss! But it's quite alright. I only have a few belongings anyway. No use getting attached to things in our line of work!" The woman let out a playful smile before leading Rachel into what was now her office.

"That's right. I was informed you were responsible for almost everything humanity understands about the titans. If what I hear is true, you are worthy of much more than this office." Rachel smiled as she placed the box tenderly atop the swirled, mahogany desk.

"Don't bother with all that! There's nothing else I'd rather do! And that's all the reward I need!" She whispered the last phrase before she recognized who she was speaking with. Her demeanor shifted to intrigue. "Oh! But you're much more interesting!" She leaned in remembering all the facts she had poured over regarding the 'strange woman from the exterior.' "You and I need to have a long talk, miss!"

"Hm," Rachel seemed surprised, "what do you mean?" She let out a tender laugh and admired the taller woman's personality. It was such a contrast to the stark air of the rest of the men, especially after what happened during the mission.

"Don't be coy!" Her vibrant green eyes began to glisten through the glasses as she placed her hands on Rachel's soldiers and began her dramatic monologue. "What with the way you single-handedly fended off the titans! The way you swooned your way into the men's hearts! The way you risked your life to save a fallen comrade! It all adds up! You're the one! The woman of prophecy! The savior of this world mentioned in the legends of old!" Rachel sheepishly took small steps backwards, feeling a bit embarrassed. By now, the volume of the conversation – if one could call it that—had risen, and it was attracting a bit of attention.

Rachel's next step backwards resulted in a slight collision.

"Would you shut the hell up?!" The cranky man placed an inconspicuous hand on Rachel's back to stabilize her without shifting his irate glare. The circles that were so common under his eyes had worsened substantially since the return from the expedition. "Your energy is making me sick."

"Oh-ho!" She leaned over in an exuberant whisper. "I think it's more than that that's making you sick! You should drink some more water, maybe have some tea."

"Tch." Levi snarled before he stormed out of the room. Rachel couldn't help but laugh at how casual the two were.

"Oh! Ah, I almost forgot!" She turned to Rachel. "My name is Hanji Zoe. I'm transferring from research and Development. I'm very pleased to meet you." She gave a half-waisted bow.

"Oh, and I'm Rachel Cross. I'm the newest recruit of the 97th Trainee's Squad. It's an honor… I hope we can work together to make this world a better place for humans."

"Ooh, so serious! I like you." She returned to the box resting on her desk and looked around the room with an unsatisfied glare. "I was offered this office, but I think I'd prefer to stay in the basement where my materials are… Would you like to see it?!" She rushed over to Rachel and grasped her frail wrist. "C'mon, let's go!" The two began running across the castle towards a dim stairwell, but stopped like misbehaving children before Commander Erwin.

"The two of you seem to be in a hurry... I'm glad you've already been acquainted." His words seemed warm, but his expression was placid as always.

"Hm." Hanji nodded firmly in confirmation. "Do I have permission to keep my personal affects in the lab?" The Commander paused a moment.

"That'd be fine… Don't go scaring away our recruits this time." He added briskly before marching by.

"Br-r-r!" Hanji gave a comedic gesture once the Commander had turned into a different corridor. "Let's go! I have so much to ask!"

Rachel was too mesmerized by the way the mess of brunette locks bounced back and forth and the peculiarity of the creature before her to think about her pending interrogation. The small sense of belonging she found in the Corps was beginning to grow each day, even with the loss of Jacob. After all, death was nothing new to the 'strange woman from the exterior.'

…

"Why was I not there when they found you!? Or when they questioned you?! This information was withheld from me for so long!" Long legs raced back and forth along a wall of books, propelling her to grab miscellaneous articles, journals, and texts. "This is incredible!" There was nothing that could tear the ear to ear grin from the dark complexion. "You're not joking with me, right?!"

"No. They have a strong aversion. I've never been confronted by a titan while in the water." Dark hair flipped back and forth as the young woman nodded her head in affirmation.

"This changes everything! Did you tell commander?!" Hanji's thoughts were formulating faster than she could verbalize them.

"I've told him everything, but he is waiting until he can confirm the information before he implements them into his strategies."

"But you didn't even have 3DMG! How did you survive for two years and two months?!" She returned to the long work table where Rachel was seated.

"It was never my intention to kill or conquer the titans, simply to live a life unattached to the rest of humanity… But as I mentioned before, that didn't work out so well either…"

"And the other civilization?! Did you mention that to Commander?!"

"I did, of course. It was all in the initial interrogation. But you could imagine how trepidatious he would be, sending his men into an unknown land based on hear-say like this. It's almost begging for an ambush…" Her thoughts wandered as her gaze shifted downwards.

"Hm… I see. Well, there are plenty of other things we can focus on for the time being!" She finished taking her notes and stood to rearrange her table to prepare for the observation of titan's aversion to water. She resumed a seat closer to Rachel and leaned into her personal space. "Now, for a more intimate discussion…" Her grin shifted from excitable to sadistic in an instantaneous flash. Her eyes were hidden by the glare of her glasses.

"I- I beg your pardon?" Rachel leaned back as far as she could.

"You're so cute when you play coy… I love it."

"I really don-"

"L-e-v-i" She now peered over her glasses, dissecting her subject with her eyes, desperately searching for what she wanted.

"What about him?... It's not what you're thinking!"

"At the moment, maybe…"

"It's entirely professional… He is my superior, for Christ's sake!"

"Hmm, but he doesn't treat you as a subordinate… Your history is rich. You've known him a long time."

"We did know of each other in the underground city, but it's actually the opposite of what you're thinking!" Rachel was getting flustered and defensive. "We actually have a really rough past and were mortal enemies for a time!" She tried to scoot her chair backwards to get away, but only made it a few inches.

"Star. Crossed. Lovers." The thin, pursed lips were contorted into a menacing grin.

The conversation didn't get much further. Except for the concrete details, Hanji knew everything she needed to know about the two and would do anything within her power to get them to confess.

...

**AN** I really had fun with this chapter. Hanji has to be the greatest character in the series. I hope you enjoyed reading it! Please let me know what you think and thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

It was one of her many chores- a product of her hazing- that brought about this little conundrum.

The strange occurrence had been sporadic over the past week or so since she had been forced to clean the attic of the castle. By the time anyone managed to tiptoe up the steps, the culprit was nowhere to be found. Even Commander Erwin had tried to catch a glimpse of the enigmatic virtuoso.

They claimed she was forced to clean it because she was the freshest cadet, but she knew they were all just scared. The building was over one hundred years old, after all. The gothic, arched windows were coated with a thick film, and the creaky wooden flood seemed to go on for miles in the light of her candle, trying so desperately to remain lit in the stale, musty air.

The furnishings were sparse— a large desk sat illuminated by the waxing moon, a lamp shattered into pieces beside it. A massive object that had been engulfed in a sheet for years caught the light of the glimmering candle and made Rachel's heart skip. She stopped in her tracks and her jaw fell. Before she could think, she was taking long, hasty strides towards the structure. She delicately ran her fingers over the dust that coated the sheet. She let out a deep, excited moan. She looked over her shoulder to make certain the corridor leading up to the attic was vacated before gingerly removing the sheet.

She couldn't contain her excitement any longer. The exterior was in mint condition—the onyx finish pained her retinas as it mimicked the dance of the flame. Rachel placed the candleholder a distance away on the floor before softly lifting the cover, trying to make as little noise as possible.

_I just need to see if it's tuned properly, then I'll stop… _

She couldn't stop. She groped around the body of the object—the familiar shape making her shudder. Within an hour, she had manually tuned the ebony grand piano and attracted quite a lot of attention. About 5 of the lower ranking soldiers and even Hanji managed to find their way up the crumbling stone staircase, following the serene interlude.

"You really are amazing, Rachel!" At least one of the cadets was always fawning over her. Others sneered and added 'piano prodigy' to their growing list of causes for suspicion. By then, they had managed to gather more kerosene lamps and a few extra barstools and had turned the gloomy basement into a warm and inviting lounge. Most of the party failed to recognize Mike standing in the doorway, arms crossed and emitting melancholy vibrations. He wasn't the one to break up the party, though.

"Alright, shitty brats." His legs moved slowly and confidently, perfectly polished boots making hollow _tunks _against the filthy wooded floors. "Play time's over."

The shaky cadets scurried away like cockroaches at the sight of Levi, the light of the kerosene making his undercut even more ominous. Rachel's head hung low as she guiltily fiddled with the edge of her shirt, waiting for Hanji to exit.

"Maybe she could give you lessons, Levi!" She tried to coax him onto the bench beside Rachel.

"Out. Now." His eyes were unmoving from the mess of hair that sheepishly hung in Rachel's eyes.

"Ho-ho! Just be sure to keep it down you too, the mess hall is just below. I'll keep this between us!" She whispered before skipping out of the room. As soon as she vacated, Rachel rose to formally greet her Captain. She gave a full-waisted bow and began to speak, but before she could get the words out, Levi interrupted.

"Save it." He walked over to the pile of supplies sitting in a dark corner that had initially been brought for cleaning. He threw a couple of rags in her direction and reached for his weapon of choice—the mop. The water was fresh, just as he had asked. If only she could stay on task.

"Hn." She avoided eye contact and began scrubbing the window panes. The air was still, but not tense. There were no words that needed to be spoken.

"This is going to take days…" Levi erected himself and kicked the bucket of water out of frustration.

"…We could ask more cadets to help out." She hardly raised her head to speak.

"They'd do a shitty job." He peered over his shoulder to catch her childlike giggle and verbally arrested himself when he realized what he was doing.

"May I ask you something, Heichou?" She looked up now.

"What?" His response was hurried and annoyed.

"Is Mike alright? He seemed rather upset before."

He seemed a bit surprised and his gaze fell distant as he shifted his weight to the shaft of the mop. "The piano… it belonged to his old teammate. We lost him just before I came around. It was hard for him to look at it after he died, so he threw it up here…"

"Hm, I see." She regretted playing it.

"Don't feel bad. I think it's good for him." _For all of us…_

"…Do you play, Heichou?"

"No." He abruptly returned to aggressively mopping the same square meter he had been working on.

"Oh… Well, it's easy enough to learn. I could teach you?!" She sat up excitedly. She had him cornered.

"Get back to work. I hear human blood works perfectly to bring the shine back on these old floors…"

…

Most of the residents of the castle had their suspicions. A few people form the inner city had been lucky enough to own a piano, but they certainly weren't as capable as the mystery maestro. It was only natural that everyone in the castle would assume it was Rachel playing, even though she denied it, and even though the style was such a stark contrast from what she had played the first evening the piano was discovered. It took her no time at all to determine whose cold, woeful fingers graced the keys.

He always managed to coincide his playing with the times Rachel took some alone time in the wilderness so people wouldn't suspect him.

Rachel had picked up the evening shift for Eld who was feeling a bit under the weather that day. The somber melody fluttered down the stairwell more elegantly than ever before. It hummed through the windows and through the still, late summer evening air. The cadets atop the guard towers gaped at each other and then to Rachel in astonishment.

"Now do you believe me?!" Rachel was anxious to see how Levi would work his way out of this one.

…

He knew he was being watched. He knew the whole time. He played until he got bored of entertaining others, then turned to greet Erwin's bemused grin.

"All these years…" The blond wave nodded left to right in disbelief, his arms were taught against his chest.

"Are you done fantasizing? Your erection is showing." He stood slowly, his aging catching up to his body, if not his attitude. Commander Erwin smirked at the never-ending peculiarities of the man before him.

"They're suspicious of you now. Rachel's at the North Tower."

"It was only a matter of time." He walked over to the new seating arrangement and took a seat in a deep crimson armchair.

"What do you plan on doing? They'll want a performance."

"Then I guess I'll have to give them one."

…

It wasn't long before the sound of the piano could be heard at all hours of the day and long into the night. Everyone tried their hand. Most got scolded and threatened by Levi, but a few showed enough potential to receive his advice. Mike was one of those lucky few.

"Just be sure to arch your fingers." The room was dark, and while Levi's voice hadn't lost any of its abrasiveness, he maintained a relaxed air. "You're thinking about it too much…."

The private lessons went on for some time, and the entire morale of the Corps shifted drastically.

**AN** So, not really plot related, but I love this one. Inspired by the 2nd piano version of Reluctant Heroes. you can find it here: watch?v=8hSgD7iYPz8


	9. Chapter 9

Levi opted to have his afternoon tea outside today. The string of brisk, overcast days had ended, and today only a few clouds dotted the sky. He decided to relax in his second favorite hiding place—an abandoned wooden table that sat on the obsolete guard tower. It had been out of commission since the taller towers had been constructed to accommodate larger titans. His was hidden from view in the shadows of the larger monoliths.

He didn't get much downtime, but on days like this, he would carve out just a few minutes to watch the orange glow sink into the horizon or listen to the sounds of the wings of the geese flying overhead. He was thankful to the underground city if for no other reason than making it painfully clear how wonderful the world was when it wasn't perceived from a rotting hole.

He also escaped to distract himself. Lately, he had been consumed by guilt. Images of that day kept forcing their way to the forefront of his mind, robbing him of sleep. Watching the unknowing Rachel tend to a small patch of land she was trying to cultivate outside the kitchen, he remembered the first time he saw those two. They didn't meet, necessarily, but they had an encounter before Levi fled the shadows of Kenny in order to spread his own wings…

The girl lying half-dead in the gutter of the alley behind a seedy bar was nothing unusual, but the interaction between her and Levi's "role model" brought a sharp churn in his gut. It was that day he realized just how pitiful he looked when he was in her position—doubled over, gasping, pathetic attempts at fighting back, hacking up the clear bile that had forgotten its purpose because it hadn't been exposed to food in days. He remembered it all in perfect detail.

Getting kicked around wasn't valiant and romanticized as fiction would have it. The scene didn't flash by in a series of punches and blows, it was agonizingly slow. It was unsightly, filthy, and humiliating, whether you were the victim or a spectator.

That's when _he _arrived_. _A man of average height and bit underweight confidently walked towards Kenny. Everything about him was out of place. His long, black hair was pulled back in a relaxed ponytail that sat below his neck. His delicate features were relaxed with a hint of concern. He wore rectangular framed glasses and a deep cerulean kimono with a gray band.

"Excuse me. May I help you?" He stood firmly between Kenny and the girl, who had now fallen silent with eyes completely glazed over. Levi was almost certain she had died.

"No. You can't" Kenny looked more irritated than Levi ever recalled and spat in the dirt before storming off. Levi didn't understand—anyone dressed like that deserved to get their ass kicked.

The strange man turned to face Levi and gave him a pained stare. Levi couldn't explain it, not then. It was as though every action, every detail, every ounce of his being was laid bare before this man, and he took his time examining Levi's life and passing his judgments before tending to the girl. Levi gritted his teeth before he walked off, being sure to take one more look to see that the girl was, in fact, alive.

"Um, excuse me, Heichou…" He jumped from his seat, teacup clattering with the sudden movement. "S-sorry to bother you, but Commander sent me to look for you. He says it's time for the meeting." Levi was shocked when he came around. The sun had already completely set and a sliver of the moon could be seen resting on the horizon. He tried to shake his mind of the thoughts, but couldn't bear it. Rachel was the last person he wanted to see. "Is everything alright…?" She took half a step forward out of concern.

"Get back to your post." He stood coldly and brushed past her, causing her to lose her balance. He added before heading down the steps, "Don't tell anyone I was here."


	10. Chapter 10

"Um, excuse me." She lightly rapped on the half closed door of Commander Erwin's office.

"Enter." He sat up, blinking and trying to pull his attention from a stack of paperwork. His eyes widened as a glance at the clock revealed that it was already half past 1 am. "Rachel, you've been up since your 3o clock post. You should get some rest."

"Thank you, sir. I will look after it…" She began to close the door and then paused, awaiting permission to shut it completely. Her soft footsteps stopped about halfway between the door and the Commander's desk, and she hesitated to lift her head.

"What's on your mind?" He folded his hands under his chin and looked at her pressingly.

"I wanted to formally apologize to you, sir. Jacob shouldn't have died. It was my fault. I thought I could be a hero and disobeyed your orders, and it cost a man his life." Her head was lowered from her shoulders and her voice shook with regret. Erwin let out a deep sigh before unfolding his hands and placing them on his desk. He steadily rose from his high backed chair and motioned for Rachel to sit on a sofa that was situated across from a cushioned chair a few feet away.

"Can I pour you a drink?" He started towards a tall cabinet in the corner of the office.

"Um, no, thank you. I don't drink, sir." He paused and then nodded firmly before taking the chair across from her. He let out another sigh before speaking.

"We all do things we regret. Sometimes they are consequences of not following orders, and sometimes we regret the decisions we were ordered to make. But by disobeying, you took responsibility for his death. I don't need your apology." Her eyes shut tightly as she remembered those deep blue eyes growing cold, fresh blood clinging to the soft lids. No one's fault but her own.

"On another note, Rachel, you prevented three other deaths…" He looked up at her, fishing for eye contact. "Levi told me about how you redirected his squad and used yourself at a decoy. You are a rare breed of soldier."

"But it's never enough…" Her words were still weak and growing faint. Erwin's eyes fell as he retreated into his thoughts. He was going to wait, but now was as good a time as ever.

"I was hoping you could help us go over the plans for the next expedition. It's been on the agenda for a while now, but Levi has brought it to my attention that you might have some suggestions on how to reform the Scouting Legion…" His gaze fell as he recalled on painful memories. "Do you know how many lives we lose on average per expedition, Rachel?"

"No, Sir." To this, the Commander slowly reached a hand into the lining of his breast pocket and pulled out a seemingly small slip of paper. He gently held it out for her to accept.

"The number is over thirteen." Her eyes widened as the thin sheet of paper, edges frayed and tattered, continued to unfold in her unsteady hands. Her arms stretched to reveal the narrow strip in its entirety. About three inches from the bottom of the page, in miniscule, rolling script, was written _Jacob Toppke_. A dense silence hung in the air of the room.

"That is the second list... It's almost time to start a third." He averted his pained, weary eyes. "This most recent outing was a deviation from the usual. And while I enjoy the morale of the new recruits, they don't seem to understand the severity of our situation. I would prefer it best if they never had to experience losing more than one comrade on any outing. But in order to do that, we have to change things."

"Absolutely…" Her voice was soft and her hands trembled slightly.

"How do you propose we begin?" His stare was hard and unmoving as he retracted the slip of paper and returned it to its home in his pocket.

"Um, I'm not really sure what you mean, Commander…" She nodded her head in refusal. She took orders. That's how it had always been. That's what she knew best.

"It's fine if you can't tell me now. I will hold a meeting with the Captains in the morning. I expect you to be there with a proposal. Don't worry too much. We have plenty of time. I'm sure Levi would be happy to review your thoughts before you present them."

She nodded her head, eyes still widened by the surprise, trying to grapple the thought of making a proposition to tell all of her superiors what they needed to do better. That's about the time Levi barged in.

"Erwin." He hadn't even looked into the room before speaking. His confident stride hesitated mid step when his eyes fell upon Rachel.

"Oh, Levi Heichou, I'm sorry. I was just leaving…" She stood quickly and lowered her head before him. His eyes were glazed with mischief as he continued towards the cozy seating arrangement. He tossed himself into the sofa with his arms tightly pressed across his chest and threw one leg over the other exaggeratedly.

"Sit down. Your hovering is making me nervous." He said to Rachel with expressionless eyes locked on Erwin. She did as she was told and sat uncomfortably, observing just how well the two men knew each other.

They sat across from each other in utter silence, eyes and features completely unmoving, as if they were communicating telepathically. She wondered how long the two had known each other and just how close they were. Just as Rachel's thoughts were starting to flood with an imagined history of the men before her, Erwin cleared his throat and focused his attention towards her.

"Rachel. Levi has brought it to my attention he needs to select a replacement for his Special Ops Squad immediately in order to begin his training with the other members. It is apparent you have a lot to offer because of your unique skillset. Would you consider taking the promotion?" She couldn't believe how quickly everything was happening.

"I need to know now, quit gaping." Levi's eyes pierced her every insecurity.

"Yes." She bowed her head. "I will accept."

"Good. We'll meet at four-hundred hours. Don't eat anything before, unless you enjoy puking."

"Thank you, Rachel. You're dismissed." Commander gave her a pleased smile. "I look forward to your proposal." He spoke as she rose to leave.

"Yes, sir." She lowered her head and began to walk off.

"Oh, one more thing." Levi turned to face her as he stretched his arms over the back of the sofa. "Don't bring those formalities to the training ground in the morning. They'll only get in our way." His order caught her off guard, but she nodded before exiting the room, gently pulling the door closed behind her.

**AN** Sorry this took so long, cross country road trip means little to no internet. Thank you so much for reading and your support. Please please let me know what you think! I'd love your feedback! Also, how would you feel about suggested/past/one-sided Eruri?


	11. Chapter 11

She got no sleep as Erwin had advised. She was afraid of what the other soldiers in Levi's squad would think of her. She didn't know how the squad leaders would respond to her proposal. She knew that even if they accepted and implemented her ideas, she would be painting a target on her back for her peers. She paced her cramped quarters thinking about what to present to the captains tomorrow morning after what was certain to be a gruesome four hour training.

Long before dawn, as she made her way to the training grounds, Rachel forced herself to remember how important it was that she had faith in her comrades. She was confident in her abilities she learned both outside the walls and in the underground city. She could befriend anyone as easily as she could kill them. The titans were nothing but a nuisance for a person as tactically trained as her.

Since she had been rescued, though, she had been told that any mission attempted singlehandedly was doomed to fail. It was the type of pride and narcissism that she was suppressing that made her insufficient, and it caused her to blame herself for that man's death. She was reminded of how she didn't deserve to live in this cruel, beautiful world. She loved everything so deeply and hated herself twice as much.

She was pulled from her thoughts by the loud shrieking of an owl concealed in the silhouette of dusk. She thought she had been the first to arrive at the grounds and decided to take the time to follow a set of paw prints left by a pair of raccoons. She wandered deeper and deeper into the undergrowth of the forest surrounding the training grounds until her attention was arrested by the yelling of her comrades.

"Rachel!" Gunther, such a considerate man. He called in order to prevent her from making an even larger fool of herself. Levi had instructed Gunther, Eld, and Aururo to hide a good distance away from where they were scheduled to meet in order to "observe" the peculiar woman.

"G-good morning!" She nervously smiled as she erected herself, spinning around and placing her hand on the back of her head to prevent fidgeting. She spoke in a light, airy tone.

"What the hell are you doing?" Levi grumbled as he stepped to the edge of the path, being careful to avoid the bushes.

"Um, do you mind, Heichou?" She whispered and pulled a finger to her lips as she pointed to the base of a massive sequoia directly behind her. The men looked at each other perplexedly. Eld took the bait. He walked awkwardly through the thorny shrubs to get to Rachel.

"Watch out. There's poison ivy less than a half meter to your right." She reached out her hand as he approached in order to guide him through the thicket.

"Th-thanks." His eyes strained to adjust to the area Rachel had been pointing and his mouth made a wide gaping motion as the little objects came into focus. His gasp from the darkness of night received Aururo's crude remark.

"What is it? D'she take off her shirt?" No one laughed at his joke; he simply received a cross glance from Levi.

"It had babies!" Eld's voice was childlike and he beckoned the other men with his arms.

He was furious. They were supposed to be out here coordinating and practicing, integrating a new member into the most esteemed squad of the Survey Corps, and they were playing boy scout. He stormed through the thicket without even looking at his feet, eyes glazed over trying to conceal the rage that wanted to escape them. He walked past both Rachel and Eld and stopped only feet before the crook of the tree's roots. He lowered his gaze disgustedly.

"These would make great practice for dissecting titans… especially since none of you seem to realize just how important this training is..." His sadistic aura frightened the four fuzzy raccoons huddled under their mother's girth and the two soldiers retreated quickly to form a line with Aururo and Gunther in the clearing.

They first explained the basic formations to Rachel verbally, and then painstakingly ran them over and over _and over_ again. There was no chance of these formations succeeding unless every member gave 110 percent. Every run of the formations was pitiful the first few times because Rachel, with all her strength, couldn't perfect the balance of timing and maneuvers. She had forgotten what it was to be weak. Her head that normally held itself with pride was now groveling in its insufficiencies. Every time the formation failed, Levi would either throw her or kick her onto the forest floor, whichever was more convenient for him.

She had severely underestimated the Corps and the power of teamwork, and was so intent on keeping up, she failed to notice the transfiguration of dusk into mid-morning and only listened to the birds once the training had been called to a close and she lay exhausted on the dew-soaked grass.

"Take a break. You have tomorrow off. Wednesday we meet here again, same time." Levi huffed before he walked off towards the castle.

…

She could hardly hold her head straight enough to speak, let alone present a reformation plan to all of her senior officers. She hovered over the waste basket in the bathroom, emitting any nerves and breakfast she had possessed. As she stood and tried to straighten herself, the door opened confidently.

"Heyy! I wasn't expecting to see you in here!" The woman galloped in and placed both of her hands on Rachel's face, which was covered in deep purple bruises and cuts. "You don't look so good. Are you well enough to present your proposal?"

"How do you know about my presentation?" Rachel brushed the hands away and leaned over the sink, running the water as cold as she could. She looked in the mirror and cringed at just how bad she looked.

"I guess you're okay then. Better that way. You really don't have a choice whether you're feeling up to it or not! You're presenting to me—I'm a squad leader, remember?" Hanji let out a wink and gave Rachel a nudge, making her nauseated all over again.

Her proposition consisted of a redistribution of focus and an intricate network of specializations within the Corps. The basic training would be no different and still apply to all members, but those troops would be divided into factions that were highly specialized. There would be focused training and additional team training where members from different factions would work together to form one unit. Squads would have a balance of elite group members in order to increase flexibility, preparedness, and ultimately, survival.

Three specialized groups she suggested would be tactical, aversion, and recovery. The Tactical Faction would be a much larger version of Levi's specialized killing squad, focusing their attention to the offensive. The second faction would focus on strategizing and coordinating efficiently during missions in order to relay intel and redirect the companies to avoid titan interaction. The Recovery Faction would stabilize and respond to crisis situations during the expeditions. They would collect and organize survivors and give elite medical attention to the wounded.

There were concerns about lack of communication or dissonance between factions, but Rachel assured that with the proper training and time devoted to interconnecting them, the only problems they would encounter were laziness and a lack of time. The cadets currently had a lot of down time, everyone agreed. But this would create more work than anyone was willing to take on, especially the Squad Leaders.

"I find myself becoming enamored with your proposal, Rachel." Commander Erwin spoke to her in an aside after the meeting had been adjourned. The room was clearing of the grumbling officers who trudged back to their desks. "How you can assure me that there won't be coordination issues?"

"I certainly can't promise you anything, Commander. But I would imagine having a mandatory general briefing of advancements and operations of all of the individual systems that are in place would increase soldier affluence and involvement in the other regions… This is requiring a lot of work and respect from the other soldiers, and is requiring everyone to get along, which is a lot to ask of so many people…" Her eyes fell in her ailing confidence.

"Would you quit being so polite?" Levi used his foot to propel himself off of the back wall he had been leaning against for the duration of the meeting. "Do you think we all enjoy sitting around here waiting to die? You act like you're doing us a disservice by trying to increase our success." He slowed to a stop once he approached Erwin's side and crossed his arms over his chest. Upon a close examination, Rachel noticed Levi had his fair share of minor injuries as well. "Quit staring at me." Levi turned on his ankle and made his way out the narrow doorway.

"Levi's point is valid, Rachel." Erwin's azure eyes followed Levi out as he spoke. "We need to make progress and stop wasting our precious resources. The others will come around… To be honest, I think a lot of them are quite excited. I will give it some thought and we will begin implementing as soon as I formulate a concrete strategy. Thank you, Rachel." He left her alone in the long room. She slowly walked over to a window and sat down on the wide, brick sill. She caught the gaze of a small bird and all of her composure dissolved. She couldn't stop the tears from falling, the eyes of the sparrow piercing through her weary spirit.

**AN** Sincerest apologies for the delay. Travelling with unreliable internet access. Please let me know what you think! Thanks!


	12. Chapter 12

Rachel didn't see Eld, Gunther, or Aururo again until the following morning. She approached them in the hall shortly before breakfast and fell to her knees, lowering her forehead to the floor.

"Please forgive me." The men looked at each other nervously and then down both directions of the corridor.

"What are you doing? Get up." Gunther reached down to lift her by the shoulder.

"Each of you had to endure yesterday's training because of me… I'm sorry." She was standing now, but her head remained lowered.

"Hey, don't apologize… We're a team now. That's what we do for each other." Eld was now resting a hand on her shoulder and giving her his warmest smile. "Right?" He shifted a prodding glare to Aururo.

"Uh, yeah… What he said…" She finally looked up and flashed a soft-hearted smile.

"Besides, we should get used to it. We'll be out there again tomorrow morning!" Gunther's plan to lighten the mood backfired as they all grumbled and shuffled into the dining hall for breakfast.

…

After her morning chore of cleaning the kitchen, it was time for Levi's tea. The first few weeks were trial and error, but eventually, Rachel had concocted the perfect blend of leaves and spices and was threatened within an inch of her life to never change it. It became her most important chore primarily because she was the only person who actually knew how to blend leaves in an appetizing manner, but more importantly because he tolerated her more than most.

She felt uncomfortable. She had for some time when they were alone. The last time they had spoken, she had found Levi in the middle of some serious thinking, and they were both completely worn out from the brutal training they endured. She couldn't help but offer him first aid. It was her nature; it was what she did for years in the underground city.

"You weren't left handed before." She gave a scripted smile. "Is it a sprain or a break?" She recalled the events that led to his injury. The timing on the B Formation got completely out of sync and Levi and Eld almost had a collision. In order to prevent it, Levi threw his blade into the trunk of a tree to change his trajectory. The force exerted on his wrist was too great and he called practice off almost immediately.

She hesitantly reached out for his arm to inspect the injury after setting down his tea, and he quickly pulled himself away, giving her a disapproving glare.

"Don't try anything…" He rolled his eyes before letting his guard down and offering her his arm. He looked away abashedly and prayed no one would enter through the half open door. She tried not to giggle at his childish behavior. She decided to pull up a small chair from the edge of the room and place it beside him. She sat about two feet from him and rested his arm on her lap, pressing the swollen area tenderly, determining the extent of the damage by the amount of wincing on her Corporal's face. She asked him to try and move it and he complied. She determined it was just a sprain and left the room to get a wrap and some special "sugar" he could add to his tea to make the pain subside.

"Thank you, Rachel." He awkwardly sipped his tea with his recessive hand.

"Don't mention it." She smiled and returned the chair to its position against the wall. "Is there anything else?" She was expecting a quick response, but turned to find him in a daze. She toyed with the idea of interrogating him, but opted to leave him to his thoughts.

"I'm fine, thanks." His voice was deep and gravelly, and he waved his hand in dismissal. She quietly pulled the door to a click behind her before a releasing a sigh of tension from the room. Hate and vengeance consumed both of them for so long, but now things were different. Levi and Rachel had both transformed into entirely different people since their days in the underground, and now they had to get to know each other all over again. She wondered what he thought of her and tried to determine the nature of their relationship the entire way back to her wing of the castle.

It was a rather lonesome corridor now reserved for the female cadets. Hanji spent most of her hours, asleep or awake, in her lair which left Rachel alone most of the time. The next batch of trainees was being selected from the academy graduates and there would soon be company in the quarters. She was a bit excited about the new cadets. Erwin had told her she was heading the Recovery Faction of the Corps in the trial expedition and, if it proved successful, she would be formally promoted to be the head of the faction and manually select her cadets. She assumed Levi would be the head of the Tactical faction with his squad members being his direct subordinates, like a pecking order. And she imagined Hanji and Erwin would joint-rule over the Aversion Faction in order to alleviate Commander's burden and increase mobility and communication within the ranks. She knew each specialized group would have to be constructed individually and from the ground-up. There was a lot to look forward to in the coming months. Everything was preparing to change and every one's emotions were high.

**AN **A bit of a short one, sorry. And sincerest apologies for the delays. I am back in town now, although just got my wisdom teeth removed a couple of hours ago, so apologies if any of this makes no sense. i am on a lot of meds. Please tell me what you love about my little story. Tell me what you hate about it even more. Tell me what you want to see more of or less of. And as always, thank you so much for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

It was well after midnight when she heard the loud rattling of her door knob. She didn't have to think of who it was because there was only one person who would barge into her room without knocking or asking permission.

"Entertain me." He marched across the small room and approached the standard issue cot, giving it his most disgusted snarl before opting to sit atop the solid mahogany nightstand that doubled as a desk.

"I beg your pardon?" She had been hanging some of her few articles of clothing on a rod against the exposed wall. She paused to give Levi a bewildered stare.

"I'm bored." He looked complacently at the stark room.

"…You never sleep because you're always busy. So why don't you use this time to get some rest, if I may suggest…" She added, remembering her manners. She finished putting her clothes away and turned to face him.

"Even if I wanted to, Hanji's over by our quarters trying to get people to volunteer for one of her experiments…"

"At this hour?" She noted the clock read quarter to one. Levi rolled his eyes and nodded with a sigh. Rachel pursed her lips and hoped she wouldn't regret her next move. She pulled back the top sheet from her bed as if she was going to crawl in, but instead, grabbed Levi by his uninjured arm and struggled to get his compliance. He gave her a bewildered stare, something extremely uncommon coming from the apathetic 39 year old. "Just relax. You'll feel better once you've rested." She coaxed him into a seated position on edge of the bed. He pressed his good hand against the edge of the mattress, evaluating its firmness.

He hadn't slept in one of the dilapidated excuses for furniture since before his promotion, and his mind flooded with memories of those days. Those were the days he created the habit of not sleeping. The beds were terrible, if you could even call them beds. He couldn't help but think of Farlan and Isabelle and their first few days at Headquarters. He became completely oblivious to the world around him and seemingly failed to notice Rachel relieving him of his shoes. She pulled his legs up by his ankles and slowly returned the sheets..

"What the hell are you doing?" His words were nonchalant as his eyes shifted seamlessly back to Rachel, as if they had been the only part of him caught in the daze. He attempted to right himself, but quickly withdrew his weight form his wrist when a sharp pain shot through his torso. He fell back onto the stiff cot.

"Shh. Get some rest…" Her hazel eyes darted suspiciously. "I wasn't supposed to tell you… but there's a pool going around… about how permanent those lines are." She whispered as she pointed at the heavy circles beneath his eyes that only seemed to grow darker with each exasperated exhalation. "I just thought it was cruel, and well…"

She was cut off by the hard-covered book that was hurdled in her direction by the corporal's only good hand.

"Go. I'm sure shitty glasses needs you for something. She's in on the bet too, I take it?"

"Hmmm… Goll-y look at the time! Sweet dreams, Heichou!" She couldn't help but smile at him, neatly tucked in to the tiny cot. He looked… well, cute isn't the proper word. _Less intimidating_\- that was it.

Levi had the first decent sleep he'd had in years that night, causing the morning's Tactical Squad training to be rescheduled, and giving Rachel and Hanji just a _little_ more spending money.

**AN: Thank you for your continued support! Quick Question, How do you feel about more of Levi's past trauma with Kenny? I was thinking of bumping up the rating and adding non-con, then tying that into some dysfunctional Eruri that ended b/c Levi wasn't comfortable with his past abuse/homosexuality. That could be the pain meds, but if you're interested in any of that, drop me a line, leave a comment, PM me, whatever. And if you think that is a HORRIBLE idea, LET ME KNOW and i will keep it on the fluffier(ish) side. You guys are the best. Thanks :) **


	14. Chapter 14

**AN Sincerest apologies for the delay! School got the best of me (not to the improvement of my grades). I will do my best to be more consistent! This chapter took a bit out of me and required some commitment. Choppy waters ahead, be prepared. The story picks up here and won't settle down for a while, i hope you guys like it. Please Please Please let me know what you think. This chapter is special- you'll see. Thank you again for your continued support, you guys are awesome. i hope you enjoy!**

How the time flew! Most people hadn't picked up on it yet, but the smell was in the air. Autumn. Rachel's favorite season, was well on its way. However, there wasn't much time for dwelling on the seasons, or her new home, or the migratory patterns of her feathered friends. But she made do. Most of the daylight hours not spent patrolling the castle were spent in conferences and discussions with the higher-ups, both from the Scouting Legion and the Imperial Government. They certainly had their work cut out for them.

The unexpected always happened in the evenings, especially when Levi was involved.

There was a crisp chill atop a secluded corner of the castle's rooftop; the breeze rustled the soft leaves and caused the brilliant starlight to dance. He loved it more than anything, the light from those stars. Though, he would never admit it. As a child, he had only heard stories of these strange celestial entities, and now he could come up here to his heart's content to awe at their splendor. Tonight, though, his heart was far from serene. He tried his best to suppress the mess of ambiguous emotions before he began pacing along the interior ledge of the rooftop.

She was sitting in the grass, dew just beginning to form on the tips of the unmanaged blades. The moon flowers she had been observing were stunning in the gentle glow of their namesake. This particular flower was special to her because it only bloomed in the evenings, making its appearance easy to neglect unless it's the object of one's focus. She sympathized with the little white flowers, their beauty masked by the darkness of the past and only revealed by the moon which waned and waxed as it pleased. Sometimes it even disappeared altogether. Where was the light in her life? Only one face was coming to mind. That man had been dead for years. Now she had to continue, forcing herself through day after day only to stumble through the darkness.

The sight of a person in the corridor at this hour surprised her and interrupted her rhythmic stride.

"G-good evening, Heichou." Her tone was more inquisitive than formal. Levi stood with his back against the wall and his arms propped against his chest. His eyes were fixed on the concrete floor of the corridor and completely failed to acknowledge Rachel. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

He must've realized he could only ignore her for so long.

"Erwin gives you permission, but you shouldn't stay out this late… It's unbecoming."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Heichou…" She seemed genuinely surprised as she lowered her forehead apologetically.

"See to it that doesn't happen again." His eyes never moved from their burrowing stare. He decided he couldn't do what he had planned and opted for a gritty 'tch' before propelling himself from the wall and storming down the corridor, making Rachel's deep brunette locks flutter as he passed by. She turned and stood, shoulders slumped and completely dumbfounded for a few minutes. Her eyes blinked curiously before she decided to try and focus on her proposition reports for an upcoming meeting with the King's council.

She sat at her desk and her eyes scanned the words of the reports she was tasked with condensing. None of the information made it through. She knew Levi was up to something, and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

She knew it would look poorly if she was found speaking to her superior regarding personal matters at this hour, but it couldn't be helped. It was distracting her. Besides, he did it to her all the time—it was only fair. Three gentle raps.

"Come in." His voice was particularly icy and Rachel wondered if she had made the wrong decision. He was at his desk, temples propped onto his index and thumb and eyes wearily peering over a set of readers he detested letting people see him in. He ripped them off with one motion of his hand and leaned back in his chair. She hesitantly stepped forward, stopping just before she reached two chairs that sat opposite the desk and fidgeted slightly with their backing.

"Um… I'm sorry to bother you… but I was just wondering if there was anything I could do… You seem a bit…" She searched for the words, but more for him to interrupt her so she didn't have to continue.

"Go on."

"You just seem really cold, if I may say so." Her cheeks were flushing red and she shifted her weight nervously. "But, I mean, I understand that you're busy and everything… it's just that it's unlike you to be taking things so seriously and…." She stopped as Levi pushed himself up from his seat. His head was lowered, concealing a slight smirk.

He slinked around to the front of his desk and leaned against the solid wood, his hands gripping the edge of the mahogany and supporting most of his weight. His head raised to reveal a smug glaze in his eyes. His lips were contorted into a sadistic sneer. He slightly motioned with his head for her to have a seat in the chair before him.

Her eyes prodded him in disbelief that bordered on disrespect, but his piercing stare was unrelenting. She complied to his non-verbal request. She wasn't breathing and the room seemed so much smaller than it had just yesterday. The candles must've been fading too, she thought, for she was having trouble seeing clearly.

The movement was instantaneous. In one swift motion, Levi had propelled himself from the desk and ricocheted himself above her. His right boot was planted upon the arm of the chair and the other remained outstretched, keeping him grounded. He was leaned into his folded knee, his left arm supporting a portion of his weight on the back of the chair.

Rachel's eyes were sealed shut and she tried with all of her might to dissolve into the fabric of the tattered old chair. _What the hell is he doing?_ She wondered after a few moments if she would have to open her eyes.

"Look at me." His face was only inches from hers and his breath was hot against her skin. She slowly unclenched her eyelids. His complexion was completely illegible. No different than any other time. The brows still furrowed, eyes still cold, jaw still set in an unpleasant frown. She could smell something sweet and she accounted it to being his aftershave.

"It's your fault I'm like this." She wanted to scoff or laugh or do anything to relieve the tension. She began, but stopped as soon as she realized just how serious he was. His unmoving eyes pierced through her. This was as honest as a man like Levi could ever be.

"Heichou…" Her voice was hardly audible, not even a hoarse whisper. Her lips moved but no sound would escape. Her attempt at speaking only spurred him on.

"I spent my whole life coming to terms with everything after what happened… " His words were completely mono. There was no anger nor volume nor remorse. It was simply matter-of-fact. "You came along and took all of that away. And now I have nothing. I have no fucking idea what I did or who I was down there. I don't know who I can trust. I don't know _how_ to trust or how to cope with anything. Everything got turned on its ear and I don't even know who I am anymore…" All Rachel could manage was an attempt to remove the lump in her throat that was suffocating her. The candlelight shimmered off the tears that had streamed down her face. Her eyes fell and she shook her head softly. She clasped her hands around his arm that was stretched out beside her and pressed the side of her face into his forearm. She closed her eyes and let her tears fall.

"Stop crying. You'll get it on my shirt." He leaned back only slightly and removed his arm from her grasp. He then placed his hand under her chin and pulled her head up towards the light. "You remind me of every other pathetic brat from that shithole when your like this."

Before she could formulate a response, he revealed the faintest smirk. An airy chuckle escaped his parted lips as he tilted her narrow chin closer. He took his time. His lips confidently lingered on hers as they trembled. He was bemused by her startled moans of protest and her half-hearted attempt at pushing him away. After a few long seconds, he decided it was best to end the kiss and pull away in lieu of her fainting, if women actually did that sort of thing. He smirked again before kicking himself off the chair and resuming his seat behind the desk. He picked up the glasses and slowly spun them by the frames as he leaned back and crossed his legs.

Rachel sat wide-eyed, sputtering broken syllables that never did manage to formulate words. Her attempts at eye contact were unsuccessful and she eventually decided it was just best to leave. She made it to the door and, without turning around, managed to speak sensible English.

"…What was that, Heichou?"

"Payback."


	15. Chapter 15

"You call this floor clean?" His eyes didn't even have to strain in order to see the discolored grout of the foyer's tile. "I'm tired of your half-assed work. I don't care how many times it takes, I want it spotless by the morning's training. Take your precious time." The fresh cadets cowered before their superior. He turned on his heel and proceeded down the corridor towards his office. He thought he was concealing it well, but his heart was heavier than usual. Had it really been 3 years? He hated how cruel time was. Every ache was excruciatingly drawn out into an eternity.

His thoughts were interrupted by a call as he passed Erwin's office. "Levi." Pale lids fell over his blue eyes as he made a slight motion with his head for Levi to enter. The shorter man hated how confident his commander's voice was. It kept him up at night.

He closed the door behind him as he entered and defiantly threw himself into the chair opposite Commander's desk.

"What? Am I in trouble? You gonna tell my parents? Oh, wait. I don't have any." His cold gaze was fixed as if it was directed past the man he was speaking to.

"How are you coping?" Erwin ignored his dramatic monologue and cut directly to the chase.

"What the hell are you talking about?" His chest puffed out as he crossed his arms against it and dropped his head.

"We may never see another one like her." He knew exactly which buttons to push. Levi's eyes closed as he realized Erwin wouldn't let the matter go. He let out a sigh.

"What do you want me to tell you, Erwin?" He chose to fix his gaze on a wilting philodendron in the windowsill rather than maintain any eye contact. The response he was waiting for never came. "She's gone. We lose people all the time. It's what happens here." His voice was unchanged but his Erwin could see the pain in his eyes.

"But not the way we lost _her_." His large hands were now folded beneath his chin, his fingers barely concealing his thin lips.

"You make it sound like she's dead." Levi's response was abrupt, and he let out an empty scoff as uncrossed his arms and stuck his hands into his pockets.

"Would it be better if she was?" Those aqua crystals had speared Levi since the conversation began. They were unmoving and Levi had nowhere to run.

"What are you getting at?" Anger was swelling within Levi. Not at Erwin necessarily, but at the emotions he had been suppressing. Erwin said nothing. "You think I'd be happier if she was dead?" He knew that's not what commander meant, but it was easier to accept than the reality of the situation.

"Do you think we were oblivious, Levi? Oblivious to your happiness?" He examined the vulnerable man before him for a long while.

"Are you done?" Levi's eyes had been closed, trying desperately to quell his emotions. "None of that matters anymore. She isn't coming back, Erwin. Rachel is gone…" He was standing now and their eyes finally met. His posture was that of a broken man and tears were beginning to form in Levi's eyes. "Why are you doing this to me?" He placed his hands on the table and leaned forward as if to stand up to his oppressor—the one man he was _always_ powerless against.

"L-Levi." His unbreakable façade had been shattered. He hadn't expected this. His square jaw had fallen and his eyes now blinked rapidly.

"I have been trying so hard to come to terms with this and you wait for three years to finally say something."

"Levi… I thought-

"What did you think, Erwin? Did you think I had forgotten? Did you think I had moved on? Did you think I don't still dream of all the different ways to kill that piece of shit that took her from me?" He was leaning over Erwin's desk, his eyes no different than the first time they met. Erwin saw that same void filled with malice and regret.

"…You're right, Levi…" Erwin's head fell apologetically.

"You're damn straight I'm right…" He erected himself and regained his composure. He turned to leave, but before he opened the door he added, "And do me a favor. Next time you think you're helping me, keep your mouth shut."

…

"104th Trainees Squad, huh?! Who'd a thought we'd make it this far?!" Hanji's messy hair flipped about as she looked around the conference table. She sat with her fellow squad leaders and the mountain of papers they had to file each time they had a new group of trainees. The paperwork was mostly record keeping but also required some member placement. Her morale was strong enough to compensate for the rest of the group. Mike trudged around the table topping off everyone's coffee.

"Ugh, how many more are left?" Ness groaned as he closed a file and added it to the short stack of completed papers. As if on cue, Levi approached from behind and dropped a thick stack of files in front of him to which the others laughed. He then resumed his seat across the table and sipped his tea. No one mentioned his atypical reticence.

It wasn't until after all the folders had found a home in the long row of filing cabinets and all the other squad leaders had turned in for the night that Hanji decided to speak up.

"What color is the cat?" She looked at him intently but he hardly even noted her presence. "Aren't you going to make some crude remark?" He finally rolled his eyes and acquiesced.

"What cat?"

"The one that's got your tongue!" She held herself with a large amount of pride due to her cleverness. Levi shook his head and downed the rest of his tea in order to prevent it from getting even colder. "Erwin told me about what happened…" He didn't respond, but she knew he was listening. "Don't blame him…. He just wanted to help."

"Help with what?" He snapped, but settled down when she removed her thick framed glasses.

"You're hurting, Levi. We all are. We all want her back, and we all want to take your pain away. But for so many years, we've completely avoided the situation… The fact is, she left of her own volition, regardless of the circumstances…" She paused to let the words sink in. "But let us help you. This burden isn't one you have to carry alone, not anymore." His eyes were fixed on her hand that had placed itself on his forearm.

"Get your filthy hands off me." She giggled at the sight of her familiar friend. She knew that was as close to a 'thank you' as she would ever get.


	16. Chapter 16

**MANGA SPOILERS CH49** (I think...)

It_must be… No, surely it hasn't been that long. Tuesday, then- Or has it been five days?_ She felt her sclera drying out. Another arduous blink. The thought of moving anything more than her disparaging eyelids made her feel ill. _Wednesday. It must be Wednesday._ She hadn't gotten any sleep, but her concept of time was completely distorted. There wasn't a single ray of the Sun's light to shine upon her. The food that had been brought to her on a daily basis was accumulating on the far side of what the servants referred to as her quarters. It was all very elegantly prepared, but also undergoing various stages of rot. _What a waste._

The palace was beyond imaginable. There were no windows in her confinement, but there was enough candlelight to illuminate all three of the divisions of her "room." There was an area for her to sleep with a bed and wardrobe; in the middle were a bookshelf and an elaborate seating arrangement; on the far side of the room was a small bath and vanity. She was, of course, provided with the best clothing and jewelry available. Rachel's confinement to this particular space was a recent development after she was found wandering around the Imperial City, after multiple admonitions against such frivolous behavior as the wife of a prestigious nobleman.

She had pushed her luck too far and now was trapped and unable to perform her greater task. She had to get on his good side again. _How_ _hard it is to feign love._ All she could do at that moment, though, was stare at the ceiling and wait.

The drink went down smooth and Levi preyed on the warmth it would bring his spirits. The nightmares had been relentless since the incident. He clutched the glass by the rim in his typical fashion and used his arm to press one knee against his chest. His other hand supported his weight behind him on the Headquarters roof top. The summer night's wind and soft smells failed to bring their usual comforts as they graced his weary features. The shimmering stars seemed cold and distant. The moon only seemed to be a reflection of the many craters in his heart.

"Are you going to say something? Or just stand behind me like a creep?" His icy gaze shot to the side towards a silent Commander.

"I typically respect your right to sulk on the rooftop alone…" Erwin had an unusual air about him, Levi noted.

"What's different tonight? I won't have sex with you, if that's what you're thinking." He took a drawn-out sip of his drink and was surprised to hear Erwin actually respond to his sardonic behavior. "Erwin, did you just giggle?" His words rolled off his tongue like a viper's venom.

"I am not allowed to be amused?" He stepped forward and took a seat beside Levi. Erwin was sitting closer to the ledge and his countenance was clearly visible to the shorter man.

"You've never laughed before." His gravelly voice trailed off into his glass.

"I am in a good mood, I guess." He almost seemed to shrug. His muscular shoulders were clearly visible without the cape or jacket. The button on his collar was even undone. _Human. He seems human._

"Oh...? I can change that… Erwin, remember when your arm was eaten by a titan?" Bitter resentment laced his words.

"...Sometimes it's your brutal honesty that makes everything better." _Why the hell is he smiling?_ "I'm glad you're still here, Levi."

"What the hell are you going on about?"

"It will be near impossible to find someone like you again." Erwin was looking up at the sky now.

"And what if we lose you first?"

"Well, then, I guess you would have to become Commander… Commander Levi- I like the sound of it."

"There you go, smiling again. You're acting weird. You should stop."

"You're right… Sorry... I guess I am remembering what it was like…" Levi's eyes widened in an atypical pique of interest. "Being human, I mean."

"How long ago was that? I don't remember ever seeing this side of you."

"Hmph." Erwin dropped his head as if recalling a blissful memory. Nothing is more painful than recalling instances of joy in the moments of misery. "It's been a while." Levi made a disgusted choking sound.

"Don't get all emotional on me. I'll puke." He threw back the last of his drink and sprawled out on his back, his hands acting as pillows behind his head. "You couldn't be successful here if you hadn't killed that part of you… The human part..." Levi tried his best at being consolatory.

"Hm." His thick brows were furrowed in deep thought. "…Levi."

"What?"

"Did I ever tell you about Marie?"

…

**AN** Thank you for reading! In case you weren't familiar with the two pages or so of dialogue between Niles and Erwin about Marie, she was a suggested love interest of Erwin's, but because Erwin chose the life of Commander, he was unable to remain with her. Not really relevant to the plot, but I wanted to humanize him a bit. Please do tell me what you think about the characters or the plot! If you have any criticisms, I would love to hear them!

Also, I am not going to put any EruRi in this story, but I am considering maybe a one shot or something brief. If you have any good ideas, feel free to PM me!


	17. Chapter 17

"What are your orders, Captain?"

"Does it look like I have time to deal with some stray kid?" His words were cold, mostly because of their devastating losses from the most recent expedition. The Corps had lost eight solders just three days prior.

"But the titans, sir… One was spotted about 5 kilometers east just this morning…" The stifling silence made the frantic cadet regret making a proposition contrary to his superior.

"Tch. Bring him in. Have Hanji question him… No, on second thought, I'll do it."

"Roger!"

Levi's gaze fell distant as the cadet turned and set out to follow orders. They had to record the details of the expedition, formulate reports, gather and return the personal effects of the deceased, and most of all, figure out how to capture the female titan. And now this.

The next time Levi thought about the strange boy was when it was brought to his attention. It had been many hours and he had almost entirely forgotten about the situation.

"Levi." There was a knock at his door. Before the man even spoke he knew it was Erwin.

"What is it?" Erwin slowly carried himself to a seat across form Levi's desk. His speech was sober.

"First of all, I am sorry about your squad." Levi simply closed his weary eyes. "…But I keep hearing about this boy being held in the dungeon and I have reason to suspect you're behind it."

"Why? Do you want in? I'll have to charge you. Nothing personal. Business is business." His sarcasm and placid stare did little to hide his pain.

"I don't want to know. Just clear it up." Erwin stood and turned to leave.

...

It was a pathetic sight. Nothing new to anyone who was raised in the slums of humanity's dying civilization, but pathetic nonetheless. Tattered rags hung around his skeletal frame. His eyes were enveloped in dark shadows and he was covered in cuts and bruises. He was seated at a table in the basement near Hanji's lab. She witnessed the interrogation—if you could call it that.

"Alright. What's your name?" Levi abruptly threw himself into a seat across the table and spoke with an annoyed, uninterested tone. He guessed the boy was only about four years old. "What? No name? That's fine. Where are you from?" The boy's eyes hadn't moved since the two captains entered the room. "Can you even hear me?" Levi examined his pale features. He recognized that look—the hopelessness that consumes every ounce of a broken spirit, where you pray the next breath won't come, pray for everything to disappear. He knew it firsthand.

He let out a sigh and looked to Hanji. "This is hopeless. How did the cadets find him?"

"Haha! You didn't think that was important information to know before interrogating him, Levi? They saw him from the watch towers when they were on duty patrolling Headquarters. When they got confirmation to rescue him, they brought him directly here. Jean told me the boy never said a word." As she finished her sentence, she shifted her attention to the child. "What should we do?"

"How the hell should I know?" He uncrossed his arms and legs, walked over to a sofa along the far edge of the room, and threw himself into the putrid colored fabric.

"You should really watch your language. Little ones are impressionable."

"Sure looks like someone left an impression on him." He looked at the boy's injuries, recognizing that they were inflicted by another person. Hanji gave him a vicious glare. "…Sorry. I'm in a foul mood."

"When are you not in a foul mood, Levi?"

"Why do we even still have this thing?" His gaze disdainfully fell upon the the deteriorated piece of furniture that carried his weight.

"Erwin says he likes the color. It was only for you that we had it moved to the basement in the first place."

"…At any rate, we can't throw him back out there. He'll die in an instant."

"Hm? Is that you being hospitable, Levi?"

"Yeah, I guess it is… He can stay in the extra room in the west wing. Make sure his door stays locked. We don't want any… surprises." He stood slowly and marched out of the room, making sure to take one last glance at the frail child before returning to his work.

**AN** Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think!


	18. Chapter 18

"Commander Erwin," the nervous cadet spoke after two firm raps on the door. "There's a message from the King's Castle." Upon entering, the cadet placed a small scroll on the commander's desk. "It arrived by carrier pigeon sometime during the night." Erwin nodded and untied the delicate purple bow that sealed the message. His eyes widened ever so slightly upon reading the text.

"Thank you, Connie. If there is nothing else, you may be excused."

"That's all, sir." He bowed cautiously and turned on his heel before exiting. For another ten minutes, Erwin's eyes scanned the few lines of elegant script and considered his next move. This was the last thing he needed to worry about.

…

"This sucks! All this time we should be preparing to move out! But instead we're stuck cleaning the stables!" The cadet whined as his boots sunk deeper into the muck.

"Look at that! It's true, grown men never stop complaining!" Hanji exclaimed as she arrived at the entrance of the barn. "You guys are in luck, though! It was supposed to be Captain Levi watching over you instead of me!" She wasn't supposed to help the cadets, but if there was anything she hated more than mucking stalls, it was sitting still. So she grabbed herself a rake and went to work alongside the two cadets, showing them how to clean the stalls properly and how to better care for the horses.

Within an hour of her arrival, though, she was called into Commander's office. She made a brief stop by her quarters to bathe and change before presenting herself to her superior.

"You wanted to see me, Commander?" She peered her head through the door before entering completely. Without a word, he tossed the minuscule piece of paper onto the opposite end of his desk. After he motioned his head for her to enter, she got the idea she was to read it. She picked it up carefully and by the time she had finished the few short sentences, she was bracing herself for a seat in a nearby chair. Her jaw couldn't regain its proper position as her eyes met Commander's.

"When did you get this?" She spoke just above a whisper.

"It arrived at my desk early this morning." He sat with his legs crossed and his weight supported by his only elbow on his desk. His weary face rested in his palm.

"And Levi? Does he…" She trailed off, careful to speak softly so that no passerby could hear the conversation.

"He has no idea. I can't predict his reaction if he were to find out."

"Well, he has to find out eventually… right?" She blinked concernedly. "I mean, as it stands, he hardly knows that she's alive, sir."

"I would love to show him this letter, but at the present moment with his condition and the circumstances, I'm not too sure."

If it was any other day, he would have caused a scene. Definitely. He wanted to know. But his sensitivity about the matter—about Rachel—and furthermore his weary emotional state prevented him from acting rationally. He knew that. So he waited. His eyes glossed over as he leaned against the wall of the corridor. His lips fell slightly parted with pain, listening to the muffled voices of his closest friends.

"I don't know when, or if, this situation will alleviate anytime soon, Commander. When do you plan on telling him?" Hanji continued.

"I haven't yet decided. What are his feelings towards the boy?"

"Outwardly he seemed indifferent, but he expressed the capacity to let him remain here at Headquarters, sir… And I think he kind of related to him a bit. Even without knowing the boy's origins, I think we all could have guessed that he came from that place. Levi would have for sure."

"Very well. I know his feelings towards Rachel are volatile and unpredictable at the moment. I wouldn't want that to adversely affect the boy. We will wait until our military situation subsides. For now, I think we can manage to keep him safe." Hanji simply nodded her head at Commander's assertion before standing to leave.

Levi was painfully aware of the energy it took to move each muscle required to prop himself from the wall and carry himself down the corridor. He walked firmly and confidently, but his heart weighed heavily in his chest. He turned down a side corridor just in time to avoid Hanji's gaze as she left Commander's office.

...

As he approached the door, he wondered if he really needed to know the contents of the letter. It could be devastating. It could be nothing at all. Either way, he couldn't rest until he read its contents. Guided by the light from the sole candle he carried, he effortlessly managed to pick the lock into the office and then circled the desk. He opened the top drawer and sure enough, there it was. He knew by the purple ribbon. It was, after all, her favorite color.

He took the time to delicately run his fingers over the ribbon first, then the thin sheet of paper. He remembered her gaze and her touch and her laugh. He gently lifted it so that it was illuminated by the candle. He let his heavy lids rest a moment so that he could gain his composure before making sense of the words that had been so delicately written. With a deep sigh through his nostrils he opened his eyes.

_Erwin-taichou, Levi-heihou, Hanji-san, _

_I would presume that by now you have found the gift I sent your way. My apologies for the lack of warning, but as you could see his situation was dire. He may be cumbersome now, but I'm certain with proper nourishment, he will become an outstanding soldier. _

_Please take care of yourselves and Mikey, _

_Rachel_

Levi took a circuitous route back to his quarters. Given the late hour, he was all alone in the vast hallway. He quietly unlocked and opened the door of the room in the west wing. In his hand he carried a small piece of paper.

"So your name's Mikey?" He sat down next to the boy who had been watching rain fall onto the windowsill and placed a photograph before him. Upon examination of the picture, he noticed Rachel surrounded by her comrades in the Corps. His voice was raspy from lack of speech and his words made Levi's eyes widen.

"She looks prettier when she smiles."

"…Yeah, she does."

**AN** Oh God you guys I am so sorry. After finals I needed a break. I do hope I'm not boring you to death with my story . Please fell free to comment or PM me! Thank you for reading!


	19. Chapter 19

Blood had begun to pool. Her eyes simply held a blissful gaze as the evening wind blew through her hair. The light of the moon reminded her of happiness, reminded her of what it was to _feel_. She had finally been released from her cage and given minimal independence. No matter how much she wanted to run away, she knew it wasn't an option. She wanted so desperately to return to the Survey Corps. She wanted to embrace that little boy once more in her arms. She wondered if everyone was still alive, if Levi had forgotten about her. But as much as her heart yearned to return, leaving the Imperial City would be detrimental to her cause.

She pressed her index finger even harder into the thorn of the rose bush, staring down at the mess she had made once the thorn reached an impasse she assumed was the sinewy tissue around her bone. She let out a slight sigh as she felt the blood filling the newly formed puncture.

…

It was the next morning she received the news. She was so pleased to hold that letter in her hand. It wasn't read and reiterated by the guards of the castle; it wasn't hearsay that had trickled in from the outside world; it was a letter directly from Commander Erwin. She only prayed the contents were something to be rejoiced over.

He was informing her as a particularly interested civilian that the female titan had finally been captured and was under Hanji's observation. It wasn't much, but it meant more than a thousand explanations of her current staff. Of course she heard of this and the Survey Corps' losses much later than the King, but she would accept it.

There was momentary relief as she tightly clutched the letter, eyes closed in fear of the second half of the scrolling words. As she continued reading, she learned that Mikey was taking his time to warm up to the soldiers, but that at least his physical health was improving. Erwin didn't mention how much she was missed, or how much they needed her back to help manage the mess of intel they received every day. He knew the King's men would filter everything and probably just throw the letter away if it indicated anything less than blanket statements.

For the first time in three days she consumed the meal that was given to her. She drank her tea for once without gagging at its poor quality. She knew everything would be okay. Her friends would be just fine without her.

…

The newest cadets still lingered about the mass grave. The formal procession was over, but the concept of so many lives being destroyed in no time at all was overbearing. Even as the rain continued to fall, the young soldiers mourned and questioned their decision to join the scouting legion. The more seasoned scouts felt pity, but opted not to say anything. After all, what was there to say? No words could fill this void that expanded far beyond the mountain of ash that lay before them.

Levi watched from the window in the attic of Headquarters. The piano behind him had collected a thick layer of dust, and for a moment he wondered if he should resume the sheet that had covered it for so many years prior to its transformation. He decided against it for lack of energy and the symbolism of her absence. Instead, he somberly creeped over to the bench, inspecting just how much dust rested upon it. He decided it was better to stand and lifted the lid, causing a low hum from the vibrations of the strings. He recalled all the memories he had made over the years. Every time he felt as though he had recovered from the loss of his closest friends, he managed to lose them and fall apart all over again. He knew, though, that running away was not an option. He shuddered and pressed his eyes shut at the recollection of his final conversation with Rachel.

_"This is what you wanted, isn't it?"_

_"What are you saying?"_

_"You always talk about how you hate making friends because everybody dies. You ran into the woods to avoid people for God's sake."_

_"But that was before… before I actually had anyone to lose. Now that you're here, its… everything's different now, Levi."_

_"Yeah, well maybe it's better this way." _

_"How is this possibly better?"_

_"We'll get the pain out of the way now, so we don't have to experience it later, when one of us dies."_

_"… Levi… That's cruel."_

_"It's the truth."_

_"…You're wrong… This is different than death. In death, one person is exempt from the agony of loss… Here, we both suffer." _

_"…Yeah… I guess you're right… You should've thought of that before you decided to marry some prince."_

_"Do you think I wanted this? That I'm looking forward to living inside those damned walls?"_

_"You didn't fight very hard." _

_"Fighting with fists isn't my way, Levi. I want peace. I want the Corps and the Imperial City to get along. I want there to be trust and transparency in our government. That can't happen if we constantly fight them, especially this openly. I will buy you some trust, give you the cover you need to plot a revolt or whatever the hell Erwin is planning. My goal is still very clear to me. And I am willing to sacrifice the remainder of this life for that goal—to protect this organization and, ultimately, humanity."_

_"I hate this." _

_"Levi, I wouldn't even have this life if you guys hadn't meddled with some stray kid you found in the woods. Don't worry… I could never have imagined I would make so many friends and live so happily after I left the Underground City. I'm ready for this."_

_"…Don't lose sight of that goal, Rachel."_

The somber melody had attracted a curious spectator.

"Mikey, what are you doing here?" Levi stopped his playing and turned to face the child whose head was peeking through the attic door. "I thought you were supposed to be with Hanji?"


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: A bit of violence in this one- just Levi being Levi! Enjoy ~**

While the soldiers were hopeful mankind was reaching the truth of the origin of the titans, they were also shaking with fear at the uncertainty of the situation. The orders were simple- 'be prepared for everything imaginable and don't move until you are instructed to do so.' The tension was higher than it had ever been, which is why Levi had zero tolerance on a particularly grimy evening.

As he walked through the corridor perpendicular to the west wing of Headquarters, he heard what sounded like a struggle. He first tilted his head slightly in the direction of the sound to better assess its origins. After taking a moment to quell the profanities towards his incompetent cadets that spewed from his lips, he marched down the hallway—quietly of course to avoid being heard. As he approached the source he could feel the anger swelling within him. His eyes became deadened and cold as he stopped just outside the door. He waited to determine the exact nature of the intruder. He shut his eyes as he heard a small whimper and the sound of a body being thrown to the floor. Before the muffled cries could continue, Levi's foot was forcing the door open with a loud crash.

It was all one fluid motion, a violent dance. The door fell, three steps and then the intruder had been brought to a hurdled position where his face met the shorter man's knee and then the floor, accompanied by a filthy combat boot to the top of his head. Levi paused to let out a sigh before he grabbed the cadet by his collar and lifted him off the floor. He threw the man into the wall only to pull him back and smash his head into the concrete of the wall twice more.

"I hope you enjoyed yourself, because your little parties over. Is this the first time? Or has this been going on for a while? I hope for you sake I never find out that is has." Levi lowered the man to his feet and grabbed a fistful of hair by which he pulled the man's face into a waist height dresser. He then proceeded to repeatedly pulverize the man's abdomen with his knee.

He was stopped in his tracks by a hushed sniffle coming from the corner. He snarled and let out a _tch_ before he threw the man in the direction of the door by the shoulders of his jacket.

"Hey." Levi didn't know how to approach the child. He sat in the corner, knees pulled to his chest and tears streaming down his bloodied cheeks. He had a small cut where he had been hit by the cadet. "How badly are you hurt?" He was more comfortable beating the shit out of people than trying to care for them. The corporal knelt down beside him and placed a hand behind his head trying to coax the boy out so he could assess the damage. He approached the older man, buried his head in Levi's chest, and tightly wrapped his frail arms around his neck.

After the initial shock of the boy's actions had settled, Levi decided to roll back into a seated position on the floor so that the boy was more comfortable. While Mikey positioned himself in Levi's lap, Levi noted some substantial bruising on the boy's shoulders and wrists. Nothing seemed to be broken besides the frail spirit Levi held protectively in his arms.

Levi sat him on the edge of the cot while he prepared a bath and proceeded to get him ready for bed a second time for the evening. Before Levi left, he was pleaded to stay by the only child that ever had any place in his heart.

"Heichou, could you tell me a story?" His voice was rattled and his eyes were swollen, partly from crying, but mostly from the bruising on his face. As he stood in the doorway, Levi sighed reluctantly and, after explaining placidly he wasn't creative enough to tell a story, left the room. He returned minutes later with a story book he had scoured from one of the vacant rooms used as storage and approached the boy's cot. He took a seat on the edge beside the boy and began to read a story of a pair of recalcitrant children that find a path made of candy in the woods.

The story was longer than Levi had expected, and he ended up lying on his back with his back propped against the wall behind the bed. Mikey had rested his head on his shoulder to which Levi was emotionally unable to respond. At one point, Levi noted Erwin standing in the doorway giving his knowing look, the one that says "I need to speak with you in my office." Thankfully, Mikey had already fallen asleep by the time things had escalated to the point where the children get eaten by the evil witch and Levi tried to maneuver out of the tiny cot without awakening the child.

…

"Did you want something?" Levi tried to act as if he wasn't just caught doing something so atypical as reading a bedtime story to a child. Erwin began in a quiet yet stern monotonous tone, one that was concerned more than upset.

"I noticed your handy-work running away to the city. Alfonse's injuries were pretty severe. I had Hanji's team escort him out so he can be processed by trial, but I'm not sure he'll survive long enough to make it past the wall. She said there was internal bleeding and brain hemorrhaging, so it's likely he won't make it… It's good to see you express emotion, but not at the expense of life. What happened, Levi?" Levi's response was cold and nonchalant.

"I heard a commotion and went to check on it. Mikey was on the ground getting the shit beat out of him. I just thought I'd share the love."

"So you beat a cadet to near-death?"

"Is there a problem?" To this Erwin closed his eyes and slowly shifted his head left then right.

"I am just worried you have some unresolved issues that are interfering with your work, is all."

"You can keep your worries to yourself. I wouldn't want your eyebrows getting all twisted. They could be hazardous."

"Levi."

"Yeah, yeah. Really. I'm fine." Erwin decided not to press that matter any further.

"He isn't safe here. Under the current circumstances, this place could come under siege at any moment and we would be unable to protect him."

"So what do we do?"

"…You won't like my plan…"

**What is Erwin's plan?! Seriously. I don't know yet... Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter (a little on the darker side, sorry), and please let me know what you think! I really enjoy you guys' feedback! Thank you for your continued support!**


	21. Chapter 21

"Erwin told me this could work one of two ways, Levi." Hanji struggled to maintain contact with the boredom in her friend's eyes. Levi sat with his legs propped up on her desk, to which she feigned disregard, and his arms crossed tightly about his chest. "Initially, I was just supposed to run a DNA test to see if the boy might have any relation to the royal bloodline. The only way that would happen was if Rachel found an illegitimate child in the castle, or if the child was hers..." She delicately peered over her glasses to see if Levi had an adverse reaction to her proposal. "If that were the case, we could have Mikey formally returned to the castle under Rachel's direct care. On the other hand if he wasn't of royal blood, we would have to lie in order to keep him out of headquarters, which would be easy enough considering how foolish those people can be."

"Go on…" Levi put just enough effort into the words to make them audible. His nightmares had been increasingly troublesome the past few nights and his sleep was suffering. He hated everything about the situation. He knew there was a reason Rachel sent the boy here. She knew the dangers he faced, but took the liberty of sending him to live at Headquarters anyway.

"Now, Commander Erwin said that since there is the probability we would have to lie to the Imperial Family anyway, he thought the DNA test could be avoided altogether, to keep the boy's anonymity."

"What difference does it make?" He didn't try to stop his eyes from rolling as his gaze shifted from her.

"He suggested it to protect you, Levi…" She tried to look for understanding.

"So what? They're married now. Isn't it expected they'd have a kid?" To this, Hanji simply nodded her head slowly left and right as if to say 'that's not what I mean.'

"He's about the right age, Levi… Don't you think the Prince's child would be in better shape?" The implications of her words were beginning to dawn on him. He hadn't even considered the possibility before. He remained silent as his eyes fell and the air in the room grew heavy. After a few minutes, he silently rose to his feet and made his way towards the door. He considered stopping to get the last word in, but decided to save his energy for the actual target of his anger.

…

"That was cowardly of you, Commander." Levi's respect was laced with sarcasm as he leaned against the doorframe. "Using Hanji as a middle man? Does that mean you were afraid of my reaction?" Erwin let out a sigh before continuing.

"I just thought that Hanji would be a bit more… delicate." To this Levi let out an abrupt laugh.

"Shitty glasses is anything but. She's an animal. Although, I guess you're no better… Look blondie, I don't care how many tests you run or lies you come up with. The boy isn't going back to the Inner City… He's either in danger of the titans here or tormented by the greed and ignorance of those fools in the city. At least here, I can protect him… You can play diplomat all you want. I'm bringing her back, with or without your help."

"…Levi, it's late. You haven't slept well in days, and you're being irrational." Commander's words weren't reaching the weary man. Levis pained gaze had fallen to the floor as he struggled to grasp the flurry of emotions he was suffering from.

"When have I ever been rational, Erwin?" Lids fell over the aqua eyes as he considered his response.

"Levi… you've always been introverted, and that makes people think you're impenetrable or invincible… But I know better… Get some rest and I promise I will do whatever I can to help you. Not as your Commander, but as your friend." Levi's eyes had already glazed over to hide his weak spirit.

"Hmph. D'you read that in some gay novel?" Levi smirked before heading down the corridor.

He went out onto the rooftop in order to gather himself. He unknowingly gnawed at his lower lip until he tasted blood. There was no way he could sleep, not now. Not without knowing the truth.

He made a detour to the west wing of the castle on his way to his quarters. He quietly opened the door just enough to peer his head into the boy's room. As he saw the sleeping child, he realized it didn't matter who his parents were. No DNA test could change the unusual bond the two of them shared, and as he gently shut the door, he couldn't prevent the smile from altering his typically weary features.

For the first night in months, Levi slept a dreamless sleep that carried long into the afternoon hours. No one bothered to share the name of the person who snuck into his room that evening to turn off the alarm. And he didn't bother to ask.

**AN ** Thank you guys so much for reading! I'd love to hear any comments or ideas you guys have about directon or characterizaton or anything! Sorry this one took a while.


	22. Chapter 22

She was using what little energy she had to prepare herself for bed when she heard the noise. It was ever so soft at first, but the gentle rapping at her door grew louder. It was an odd hour for the servants to visit and the man she was to address _"Husband Dearest" _would never bother to take the time to knock politely at her door. Rachel knew something was awry.

Of course she approached the door with caution, but the apathy with which she carried herself as a result of her situation left her guard down. This made the following sequence of events seem even more inconceivable.

Within seconds of her opening the door, her visitor had grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her onto the floor. Her body was limp as she strained to assess the situation. She stared blankly with sleep deprived eyes at the ground she laid on as her visitor shouted and threw himself on top of her defenseless body. His hand covered her face and turned it away from the wall. A tear fell down her eyes just before it happened.

Her ears and her mind were overrun by a horrible ringing as she looked about the room. The man pushed himself away and dusted himself off. Debris had flown into his hair and he was covered in a thick dust, the same dust that was floating in the air and filling her lungs.

Then she felt the draft. The cold November night's air swirled a flurry of emotions within her. Her gaze fell upon the new orifice that had been created in the exterior wall. Two other intruders had made their way into her quarters. All of the voices were muffled from the damage to her hearing due to the explosion. The first visitor helped Rachel to her feet and made certain she was unharmed.

She clumsily cooperated as the man threw her onto his back and fired his 3DMG into the side of a neighboring building. She held onto him tightly and pressed her head close as the air of the Inner City blew through her hair. Her hearing was recovering when she heard that familiar voice shouting.

"Wo-hoo! We're almost out!"

They quickly approached and cleared wall Sina and the Military Police had finally gotten around to dispatching troops to the disappearance of the Prince's "beloved wife." The remainder of the journey was completed in silence as the skilled soldiers craftily maneuvered through the night, guided by the moon and what they knew in their hearts was right. It was only when they three captors and Rachel reached the outside of wall Maria that Rachel began to protest. She looked around to see that they had all landed safely atop the walls of Headquarters.

"Could you guys have been any more obvious?! Are you trying to start a civil war?!" The three soldiers exchanged mischievous glances.

"… Something like that… Are you alright?" Her captor reached out to steady his precious cargo as he realized setting her on the ledge of the castle after the high speed was a poor choice.

"Nh, I'm fine. But, did you guys really have to blow a hole in the Imperial Castle?" She subconsciously steadied herself on the familiar arms and lowered herself to the ground.

"What were we supposed to do?! Your room had no windows!" The third captor shrugged his shoulders as he approached her. "It's good to see you again, Rachel." He smiled and took her hand in an embrace.

"You too, Mike." Rachel returned a warm smile but shook his hand away, opting instead for a hug.

"… You smell like piety."

"You wouldn't even believe…" She rolled her eyes at the thought of that place and trailed off. There were more important matters. As she pulled away from her hug, she let out a slight cough.

"Ah, are you sick?! Let me get you something!"

"No, I think it's just the dust from the-"Hanji rushed into the castle before she could finish her sentence. "…explosion…" Mike took the hint and prepared to leave.

"I will go and report our mission status to Commander Erwin."

"No need, Mike. Good work. You're dismissed." Erwin emerged from the shadows of the castle behind them.

"Commander!" Rachel couldn't help but stare at what was left of his arm.

"I wish we could meet on more pleasant circumstances, Rachel." He approached her slowly.

"I'm sorry, Commander…" She fought tears from forming. "I'm sorry I wasn't there…" She wanted to ask how it happened, when, where, she wanted to know everything.

"You had peace to keep, Rachel. You sacrificed yourself and bought us time. You gave us a case. And now we can fight back…" He placed his hand on her shoulder. "If you don't mind, we'd like your help once more."

"Yes, of course. Anything." A solitary tear fell as she placed a hand on her commander's. She cherished every second of his warm smile.

"We can brief you later. For now, you need rest." He gave a firm nod and turned to leave. "Oh, and Levi. Once everything is settled, I'd like you to come by my office." His boots made hollow _tunks_ as he made his way down the steps and back into the castle.

The knot was palpable, for both of them. It churned in their guts and slowed time to a halt. There was a lot to say. There were no words.

"C4, huh?" She couldn't have a heavy conversation, not now. She wanted everything to go back to normal.

"It was the best we could do. Not to mention your crazy friend really likes blowing shit up." She let out an amused laugh.

"I've really missed you. I've missed all of you… so much." Her voice trailed to a whisper. She had turned to face the forest behind the castle. "I imagine things are so much different now." She leaned over the ledge to see there had been a large pond dug for training the cadets to use water maneuvers to avoid titans. She held a pained smile at the sight. "How's Hanji doing on the waterproof gear?"

"Not even a damn prototype." He slowly approached the ledge beside her. "Yeah, a lot's changed… Hell, everything is completely different. Erwin lost his arm, we've lost countless soldiers, wall Maria, our trust… Now the plan is an all-out civil war to gain control over the human race. And every day we uncover knew knowledge about the titans…"

"Meanwhile, I sat in a fancy castle and drank expensive tea." She spoke softly with heavy eyes.

"And that makes you sad?"

"I'm jealous… You guys had all the fun without me!" She put in the effort to change her tone and leaned over, brushing Levi with her shoulder.

"I guess we both have something to be jealous about. What kind of tea are we talking?"

"Overpriced shit water!" She laughed. "It was horrible!" Her expression of disgust brought a slight smirk to Levi's face. He was afraid their reunion would be much more uncomfortable or contrived, but somehow things just fit together. It would take time for the two to heal, and their relationship could never be the same. But for the moment, none of that mattered.

Their laughter was interrupted by a small voice.

"Rachel!" Tiny footsteps flurried toward her and little arms found their way around her legs.

"Hi, little angel!" She knelt down and hugged the boy—squeezed him, rather. Levi watched how happy the two were and then decided to follow suit. He slowly crouched down and placed his hand on Mikey's shoulder.

"Hey, kid. Do you mind staying here a while longer?" He ruffled his fingers through the boy's obsidian locks.

The joyous reunion was being observed by about half the Scouting Legion in a crowded neighboring watch tower. Cadets fought over the binoculars to catch a glimpse of their Corporal's elusive smile. The situation they were in was a volatile one, but as they laughed on that crisp November evening bathed in moonlight, there was hope that everything would okay.

_~FIN~_

**AHH! **

**I hope you guys enjoyed my little story. Kudos to those of you who made it through, I am in your debts. Thank you to everyone who has even bothered to read a single line, thank you even more to those who have followed or given me crtisicism. I heard some really great stuff considering my timeline was completely backwards (thanks for not saying anything), my inconsistent spelling, plot holes, and the plethora of other problems I encountered on this little journey. I didn't expect to finish this so soon and actually still have a few ideas to run with in this story. Please let me know if you think that's a good idea! **

**Thanks again and best regards.**


	23. A Letter

_Father,_

_I want to start this letter with my typical apology. There isn't a day that passes that I don't think of that dusty old castle or playing outside with you and mom on the edge of the forest... There is a strong prospect that I will soon be able to visit, though. Raphael mentioned I may have a short break from my studies soon, giving me a chance to break away from the city. Maybe one day you will make it here to Trost? I promise I'll clean up the place. _

_Has Hanji made any new breakthroughs recently? Last time I visited she was telling me of these huge plans to make a dunk tank for examining titans' aversion to the water. I thought she was being serious, but then she concluded that the excavation would begin in your office, so who knows. She gave me access to her lab in case I ever wanted to conduct my own research—she's good to us. But my professors encourage me to remain in the city and work with a public awareness team focused on securing the people's trust in Erwin's leadership and the new Queen. Is it wrong if I decline their offer? I explained my disinterest to Raphael and he told me some people just aren't meant to stay caged within the walls._

_How are things at Headquarters? I imagine the new cadets are keeping you busy? Please stay safe. Uncle Erwin stopped by to check in on me Wednesday; he said he was proud of the work you were doing as Commander of the Scouting Legion. As if I didn't know you were a kick-ass soldier. I still wonder how mom would have reacted to your promotion. I think she's laughing at you and your mountain of responsibilities... He seems in good spirits, too. He mentioned a woman—was it Maria? Or maybe Mary? _

_He also encouraged my return to Headquarters as well—more for your sake than anyone else's. He told me you were making the soldiers' lives hell because you were miserable. I know that you would never be so cruel… _

_As for my progress here, I have spent the past five months buried in books and trying to soak up as much information as possible on the world. Every day I am astonished at the information Mom recorded in her journals. She saw so much of the world! Would it upset you if I told you I wanted to as well? I spoke to Erwin about the need to expand our horizons to accommodate population growth. He seemed open to the idea. What about your thoughts, Commander? _

_My intention isn't to complain, but I am getting frustrated with some of the people in this city. Not my teachers, of course, but the mentality of the townspeople is such a stark contrast to what I was raised in. The atmosphere is ripe with ignorance and complacency. It's as if they're all livestock. Do you think a change in the world is possible?_

_You may have guessed why I'm writing out of the blue like this… or maybe not. I'm not even sure why I decided to write, I just knew that I needed to. I wish we could be together in times like these, so that we could go visit her and place the most beautiful flowers by her. Thinking about mom is never easy, but the anniversary is always the hardest… I still have that silly necklace she gave me when she returned from the city. I hardly ever take it off… I asked Raphael how you do it, how you cope I mean. He told me a little about all the people you've lost over the years and I don't know how you do it. He told me mom carried a lot of pain too. That shocked me even more. She was always smiling… even on that day…_

_I'm prepared to go out on a hunt for exotic medicinal herbs with Raphael in the morning actually, which is why I should get some rest. I hadn't realized it was already past two hundred hours. _

_I do hope to see you again soon, but until then I just wanted to thank you for supporting me in my decision to come into the city. I feel like you knew how much I would hate it all along—you're probably laughing now. Please take care of yourself, eat well, and get plenty of sleep (not at your desk!) I will return soon with knowledge and hopefully the strength I need to make a difference in this world. _

_Love,_

_Mikey_


End file.
